Heartless
by No-pen-name-1
Summary: Elle is a survivor of circumstance and has managed to keep herself hidden from familiar faces in the Military ranks by being the most standard soldier she can be, and pulling her punches, under achieving and not being a hero has served her well...but it's hard to avoid attention when you maintain a pattern of always making it out alive.
1. Your Back Is Yours To Watch

**Heartless**

 **Your Back Is Yours To Watch**

Why the scouts? The Survey Corps was _the_ worst possible option out of three military groups so why had she chosen it?

As her eyes scanned the forest floor in search of movement amongst the scattered limbs of troops her mind automatically chose desperation as her answer- but that was wrong- desperation had turned her towards the military but it didn't make her choose the Survey Corps.

"What do you want?" She muttered with such a bland distaste you'd think an old acquaintance had popped up to annoy her as if she'd been expecting them, but no, it was the glassy eyes of a titan she was staring into, and no life or understanding lay in those large observing eyes.

She remained in a perfect stance as the great beast reached up for her, unafraid as she knew she was a safe distance from it's grasp and taunted the insatiable being with her presence as she watched it's desperate need to devourer her grow.

"Is Ellie alright?" A quiet voice wheezed, the question coming from a young male who's name she didn't know, only that he was with the latest Cadets to join their squad.

"I don't know who that is to be able to tell you, sorry," She spoke honestly, turning back to look at him. "Was she in our group?" She questioned, moving away from the edge of the thick branch and walking back towards the trunk of the tree where he sat.

"No, she was in the group behind ours?" He frowned in confusion. The formation obviously went over his head, but then again, it went over her head too, so she didn't blame him.

"Her group would have had more warning and time to evade than ours, I wouldn't worry." She shook her head as she lowered herself into a crouch in front of him. "How you feeling?"

"Fine." He winced, his appearance alone telling her the truth of the matter but his fighting attitude gave her some reassurance. "Will anyone come for us?" He then questioned, his worried eyes looking to her with a pleading for hope.

"Depends," She breathed, her shoulders lifting limply to shrug before she cast her eyes to look off towards the edge of the forest. "If the entire scouting party has been decimated then it'd be a no." Her casual attitude seemed like she was a veteran. "But we were in the south-east of the formation when we were hit with no signal from the front, so it's fair to say we were the unlucky ones to bare the brunt of the attack and raise the alarm!" With that she looked back to him and his horrified face.

"W-what does that mean?" He whimpered.

"That the surrounding groups may engage if they too where in danger and once the situation is under control they'll check for survivors." Her answer was a fancy way of skipping around the fact that their rescue was uncertain.

"And if they don't?" The pure panic at the thought of being left alone rose quickly in his eyes. It wasn't a look a teen should have nor was this an experience a teen should have, but the reality was that they were miles from the wall and out of touch with the rest of the scouting party.

"We've sent a flare up, the only thing we can do is wait." She shook her head.

"That's it?" His voice hitched up a couple of pitches in panic.

"No, if no one comes by night fall we'll move away from our stalkers down there!" She nodded her head to motion over the side of the branch. "They are less active at night so we'll have a far better chance at getting free of them. Once safe we can call for the horses if any are close by and ride for the check point." Her smile was small but encouraging none the less and she was glad not to be alone; having someone younger and less experienced there to depend on her cancelled out her own fear of the situation because his was worse.

"Who died and made you boss?" Another voice spoke up and she was wondering when he'd open his mouth. It wasn't normal for him to be so quiet for such lengths of time but she guessed witnessing his friend's limbs get torn clean off would do that.

"Larson." She answered his question simply, turning her eyes up to the higher branch the older male sat on. "But if you have any other suggestions," She motioned towards him, giving him the chance to speak, "Please do share with the rest of the group!" She encouraged, her arm swinging to motion to the three others perched in the tree; all young, all terrified and all looking for leadership.

"Fire another flare!?" He clipped back with aggression to hide his fright.

"Go on then!" She fired back, her brows coming together in a scowl. "While you're at it why not shout encouragement to the poor souls that charge towards eight titans!"

"Fuck you, Hart," He muttered with distaste as he turned his gaze to scowl else where.

"Yeah, fuck you too, Martyn!" She waved with disinterest, before the sound of wires caught her attention as someone came zipping towards them.

With a splinter of wood as a grapple latched into the tree opposite an auburn haired woman soon followed, her feet landing against the truck of the tree with a dull thunk before she looked over with a smile. "Well aren't you a happy bunch?" She stated after looking at each gloomy face before she aimed her second wire towards the tree they were all nesting in and came closer. "Elle, how's the baby sitting?" She greeted as she hopped down onto the same branch while the other woman stood and walked towards her.

"Riveting." she muttered with an eye roll, "How's plan B looking?" She then questioned with a huff.

"Not bad, five horses have gathered." The auburn haired woman said as she nodded her head back to motion towards the direction she'd just come from as her hands settled on her hips.

"We can manage with that!" Elle nodded in approval.

"Yeah, I say leave the injured!" The auburn haired woman nodded only to have her friend shoot her a rather scathing look.

"Niki!" She scolded and instantly the other woman held her hands up with a laugh.

"I'm just saying, the less we save the less heroic we look and the less we draw attention to ourselves!" she opened her arms with a shrug.

"We can hardly feed them to the titans till there are just the two of us!" Elle narrowed her eyes and gave a shake of her head. She knew Niki far too well to know how heartless the woman was, her cheeky, flirtatious smile covered up a very dark personality.

"Keeping a low profile and not putting our necks on the line for others is how we've survived so long, Elle." Niki stated as she cast her eyes over the group they were now stuck with. "And there are a lot of others here." She then finished when she looked back to her friend.

"You didn't have to come back." Elle shrugged, "You could have taken a horse and saved yourself?"

"Yeah, but that makes my little side quests much harder to accomplish with out you!" Niki huffed with an eye roll.

"You have issues." The other shook her head, lifting a hand to place to the side of her face. She knew what her side quests were and they were nothing more than kiss assing the Commander in the creepiest way possible. For as long as Elle had known Niki she had known about her obsession with the Commander. Niki went above and beyond to help Erwin Smith only he didn't know who it was helping him. She was a shadow that stalked him, her eyes and ears open for anything she could do for him, if he was struggling to get information then she would make it appear in front of him. Information he didn't even know he would need or want, she was there to leave it gift wrapped with naught but a ghostly sign to show it'd come from the same trusted source.

"I have my reasons!" Niki clipped back, giving her friend a quick glance over and Elle trusted that. She knew why Niki had chosen the scouts, the woman had pined after Erwin since before they'd joined the military so it was only too obvious what choice she'd make next, Elle however didn't have that clarity for choosing the scouts.

"S-so what's the plan?" A squeak of a female voice perked up, having watched the two older women speak and now anxious for the details.

Both women looked toward the person that had spoken and as bad as Elle was with names she actually knew hers, it was Rosie. The woman had just been cleared of her Cadet rank and was divinely pretty with gorgeous amber curls and freckles scattered over her entire face that matched the colour of her hair, her eyes were a stormy blue-grey and frame petite, and if Elle was perfectly honest she was surprised she'd survived this far.

"Once it's dark we are going to shake these titans, get to the horses and ride for base." Elle spoke up. "There are only five horses so two will have to share, but the quicker we can get to the horses the more time we have to put distance between us and that lot!" She motioned toward the horde beneath.

Niki stepped forwards. "Tonight's moon is going to be almost full, so depending on cloud cover we should have a pretty clear view, but the brightness may also cause some titans to be a little more lively so do as you're told because I'm not turning back for anyone a second time." She spoke coldly as her deep forest eyes shot each survivor a scathing look while Elle closed hers a moment to recover from her friend's words and prevent herself from cringing.

"We'll all get through this if you can do these two things." Elle said after a refreshing breath and held up one finger for her first point. "Stick to the plan!" She paused before flicking up a second finger. "And look after your own back!" With that she inspected the faces looking at her and their various different expressions; fear, confusion, resistance, acceptance. It was a mixture of feelings. "You can't rely on someone else to look after you because you will _not_ make it, you have to help yourselves!" She then clarified, "Keep your self out of danger and _do not_ be a hero!"

"But what if someone gets caught by a titan?" Martyn spoke up once again with a clipped tone.

"Well sucks to be them!" Niki scoffed.

"The idea right now is to avoid titans, but if one of you splits to try and engage with one then you are on your own, and if anyone wants to join in to help- you are also on your own!" Elle shook her head. She had helped the group as much as she could and she was not going to swing into anyone's rescue a second time.

"So, if we all decide to take down a titan-?" again Martyn chirped up with his snappy theoretical question but Niki quickly interrupted.

"Then we will keep going with out you!" She motioned between herself and Elle. Not one shred of shame was seen between the pair as they stared down the rest of the group and slowly they all bowed their heads in acceptance.

"Your back is yours to watch, trust no one but yourself to save it because others _will_ let you down!" Elle finished before turning to cast her eyes towards the orange sky and willing the sunset to come sooner.


	2. Leave Us Out

**Leave Us Out**

"I can see light!" The ecstatic voice of Rosie perked up, her arm flinging over Martyn's shoulder to point towards the tiny amber dot in the far distance.

"Let's speed things up!" The older male's attitude finally perked and he kicked his horse into a faster pace, eager to reach the base.

"Veer right!" Elle called instead, steering her horse to move adjacent from the light and keeping the little amber glow to their left instead.

"What, why?" Martyn looked back and forth a few times before pulling his reins so his horse would follow the rest of the group.

None of the younger troops questioned a word that came from either Niki or Elle. Their instructions so far had led them free of titans and they were not about to risk their safety by charging head on in excitement to reach the base.

"We might not be the only ones attracted by the light!" Elle clarified, her eyes squinting to see as a cloud glided over the moon, robbing them of it's guiding glow.

"So we ride around all night?" He frowned, bringing his horse up closer to Elle while she rolled her eyes skywards.

"We do what we have to!" She shot back, throwing him a quick frown over her shoulder before the light of the moon finally came back to them, bathing the open plain in it's silver light and giving them the first clear view of the compound.

The base was an old stone mill, the walls were high enough to keep most titans at bay, but they needed a constant look out for any larger or abnormal titans that could risk the integrity of the stone barrier. "The east side of the wall is the strongest because its the main mill building so it's more structurally sound, and it also has protection from the river, which is both wide and fast!" Elle stated as she pointed towards the base they could now see with the help of the moon's light and their vantage point uphill. "The north side is where they have the light." She then pointed towards the little amber glow that started to flicker as the tree tops from the forest started to cover it as they made their way down hill.

"They also have a massive forest on the north side, which we are avoiding for obvious reasons!" Niki spoke up, casting a vicious look back at Martyn.

"What?" Rosie gasped with shock. "I didn't even notice the forest!" She frowned, watching as the trees grew taller as they kept their course down the steady hill and their little hopeful glow of amber disappeared from sight. "If we would have kept going straight we would have lost the light completely!" She realised.

" _And_ gone straight into a dark forest!" Elle nodded, her eyes leaving the compound on their left to check the open area on their right- all was clear so far thankfully.

"Doesn't the forest give our gear the advantage?" The injured teen spoke up, holding onto Elle to keep himself in rhythm with her riding so he didn't bounce about in the saddle and put her off- especially as he was also strapped to her.

"In the day time it would, but it'd be near impossible to get through at night, that forest is incredibly dense so we'd have little moonlight, and it was hard enough navigating through that cluster of trees we were stuck in earlier if you remember!" She threw a quick glance over her shoulder at him, seeing as he nodded in both remembrance and understanding.

"You both know so much!" Another feminine voice spoke up, impressed with her elders guidance so far.

'Only because Niki obsessively stalks the Commander!' Elle thought with a quirk of an eye brow as she glanced at her friend, but she couldn't complain. The little extra details they acquired only helped their survival. "It comes with practice." She played off the comment before she held up a hand and slowed her horse, signalling the others to do so also.

Elle waited as the group gathered closer, all eyes eager and impatient. Their young nerves were frayed to no end and knowing they were so close to base was making them physically shake with anticipation. "Alright," She started once she had their attention, pointing towards the west wall. "We're going to ride in at an angle, so should anything happen we'll have a quick pull away on the horses." She stated, ignoring the bobs of the various heads listening. "If all goes smoothly, when you reach the wall, dismount on the curve and let the horses keep running while you get your asses over the wall, any questions?" she gave a quick look around and all shook their head for no.

"I'll be leading, so get your asses in line." Niki spoke up, lifting her arm in the air to indicate to herself. "Martyn, will follow up next and after him leave a two horse gap so we can be sure both idiots get off the horse safely!" she jabbed a thumb at Martyn and Rosie on their shared mount.

"Also, one last thing!" Elle looked about their little group of survivors. "We are not dealing with any reports when we get back." She motioned to herself and Niki. "So once we are over that wall we were never with you, tell the story as it is but leave us out of it, alright?" She looked at each face with a smile asking for a favour and watched as they gave confused, reluctant nods to show they would respect the odd request. "Great, I'll bring up the rear!" She then nodded, giving a small smile to Niki who in turn rolled her eyes before kicking her horse on, Martyn quickly following before the rest fell in line.

The horses hooves thundered as loud as their hearts in the few minutes it took them to approach. Each rider watched the person in front with baited breath to see if they'd make it or not, but after seeing how easy Niki made it look they instantly felt they could do it too. The way Niki swooped towards the wall in a clean curve before standing on the saddle and jumping free of her horse just as it came close to the wall was completely fluid. The rider and mount moved away from one another naturally; the horse continuing to stride on and away from the wall while she shot her wires into the stone and used the momentum of her dismount to swing herself up and over the wall.

Martyn and Rosie's dismount was different, the elder male had to take an earlier jump as they neared the wall on their curved path while Rosie took a later dismount just as the horse moved away from it, but still both where successful and both further encouraged the others till it came to just Elle and her injured party. "You ready for this?" She called.

"Y-yeah," Came his stuttered reply but he had no time to think other wise as she'd already counted them in to get dismount ready before flinging them both off the horse.

Elle cringed as they swung with more speed than the others, the pair flinging over the wall and landing heavily in a heap with matching shouts of pain.

"Time to split!" Niki chirped, giving no moments rest as she came over and made quick work of unstrapping the injured cadet from her friend and leaving him to be tended to by the others while she yanked Elle up and off.

"Good effort everyone!" Elle spoke quietly, giving a tight grin as she backed away with Niki, both hoping to become invisible as they spotted the look out's rushing over before anyone else did.

"Shit, we made it!" One of the other youngsters gawked, looking about the group with a stunned face of awe before sharing a matching look with the person closest and wrapping them up in a hug.

"Hey?" A new voice called, it was one of the few scouts on look out as he came rushing over, "The hell did you all come from?" The man asked, his tone groggy and eyes blurry with fatigue, seeming unsure if he was really seeing the group or dreaming them, but none answered as Martyn sat with the injured teen while Rosie joined the other two in their celebratory hug, the three jumping up and down in glee.

"Can I get a medic over here?" Martyn instead clipped at the look out, before casting a quick look around and realising only then that their group of survivors were two members short.

"That's disgusting." Niki grumbled from where she stood, leaning next to a supply wagon, gear abandoned at her feet and arms crossed as she watched the rest of the group celebrate their survival.

With a look of interest Elle peered up from the strap she was unbuckling to look at Niki before following her line of sight and giving a light laugh at the scene. "No, it's cute!" She smiled, wiggling her hips to slip her self out of her harness and carefully lowing her gear to the floor before stepping out.

The pair remained where they were for a moment as they watched the happy group calm, waiting in the dark as others were called over and soon a small scene gathered as some came to help and others came to be nosy. "Don't get attached." Niki huffed, looking towards her friend with a knowing look.

"To what?" She frowned, opening her arms to show herself at a loss.

"The idea of being a hero!" The auburn haired woman clarified and instantly her friend rolled her eyes with a groan.

"We're not heroes, Niki, nor will we ever be." She shook her head with a tired huff. "If I can help someone then I will, if someone asks for my help then I'll try, but I can clearly see _when_ and _if_ it's worth the effort, so don't worry!" She shook her head. "There is nothing more too it than that." With that she bent and hauled her gear up, ready to vanish back into the ranks.

"Commander!" A voice called in a surprised greeting and both women looked at each other, surprise coming to Elle's face first before she saw Niki's knowing look.

"You liar!" She hissed with a shake of her head, but honestly she shouldn't have been shocked that she lied about Erwin's involvement, but the scouting party wasn't a large one, it was supposed to be a quick titan capture and it wasn't often Erwin joined on such ventures, so that raised questions in it's self.

"You didn't guess when Hange wasn't coming?" She scoffed in response. "Who else was going to cover?" She shrugged.

"Not Erwin?" Elle fired back with a frown.

"Oh come on, it could be worse!" Niki grinned, also gathering her gear before Martyn's voice carried over to them on the night air was he was confronted with his superiors, stumbling into a salute and grappling for his greeting.

"Ca-Capander- I-I mean, C-Commander, Captain!" he righted himself after managing to mash both their titles together, unknowing that Elle had turned back to shoot Niki another look of fury but judging by her perky eyed surprise she didn't know the Captain was present either.

" _The_ Captain?" She questioned in a hissed whisper, while Niki's lips formed a tight 'O' hoping to keep the shocked look on her face but it was starting to turn more to amusement.

"I did say it could be worse!" She then lifted her shoulders in a shrug with a grin.

"It's bad enough I have to keep an eye out for titans out there!" She nodded towards the wall. "Now I have to keep an eye out for the Captain in here." She huffed.

"You know, you've never told me why you avoid the Captain?" Niki then perked with interest, taking in her friend's face as she looked to her.

"Because he's terrifying?" Elle offered with a raise of her brows and shake of her head- she'd heard and knew as much as the next person what the Captain was like- but it wasn't her reason, in fact that was another thing she didn't have an answer too.


	3. Praise

**Praise**

"E-excuse me?" A small timid voice spoke up, causing Elle to look over in a mild interest at whose attention was wanted, and to her surprise is was actually her the girl was looking at.

"Can I help you?" Elle gave a light shake of her head, her brows coming together the slightest to show her confusion.

"Oh, no." She gave a small shake of her head as a smile came to her lips. "I-I just wanted to say thank you!" the youthful blonde finished, her bright eyes near burning into Elle, while all she could do in response was look at her stupidly.

"Why?" Elle shook her head, quite clearly lost on the matter and having never seen the girl before she was positive she'd never done anything to merit any thanks from her.

"Olly told me everything." She then assured but all that got was a slow head shake from the older woman to show she still wasn't following. "About the expedition last week!" She then pressed, trying to helpfully give Elle the answers.

"I don't know an Olly." She stated, lifting her shoulders in a shrug as her eyes drifted off else where as if the answer to this encounter was laying near by.

"I know you didn't want anyone to know-" The blonde began, her head bowing a little as she spoke and instantly it clicked. Elle's gaze turned back to the girl and she tried her best to keep a neutral expression, but she was annoyed- so Olly was the injured teen's name, which she guessed made the little blonde Ellie. "-But I just wanted to say thank you for bringing him back!" She then peered back up at her, her expression sincere in her thanks.

"I honestly have no idea what you're on about!" Elle gave a short laugh, deciding to stick with denying any involvement in the incident. "You must have the wrong person!" She then shook her head as she moved around the girl to continue with her work, making a point of not engaging with her any further in conversation and managing to be so confident in the matter that Ellie started to doubt herself.

* * *

"Olly, was it?" Came the clipped tone and instantly the injured teen's head perked as he looked towards the door and the irritated woman that came striding in.

"O-oh hey?" He greeted in a fluster, his eyes looking about in a moment of alarm.

"What part of 'we weren't there' and 'leave us out of it' did you not quite get?" She hissed when she came to his bed side, preying over him like a harpy and forcing the poor teen to slink down the mattress to create some distance.

"I-I-" he stuttered. The need to defend himself rising but fear of the furious woman made him unable to find excuses.

"Who else have you told?" She demanded, her eyes in a harsh glare that near made him sweat as he furiously shook his head.

"No one!" He assured, waiting as she narrowed her eyes at him in suspicion before accepting his answer as the truth and backing off to give him some space. "You better keep it that way or I'll fling you over the damn wall myself!" She almost growled as she jabbed a finger at him.

"B-but why?" Olly had to question, he was a little perplexed at the whole request and just didn't quite understand. "Martyn as gotten so much praise because everyone thinks it was him that-"

"So?!" Elle interrupted harshly, folding her arms and giving a head shake that was full of attitude.

"It's wrong." He murmured meekly, a small pout coming to his lips as he thought both Elle and Niki had been served some injustice by not receiving any praise from the incident during the titan capture while Martyn received all the credit, kind words, respect and commendations for the act.

"No it's not." Elle stated simply, because to her and Niki it wasn't, they didn't want their involvement to be known. "But do you know what _is_ wrong?" She then continued, raising a brow as she waited for him to give a small meek shake of his head for no before she continued. "Lying to your superior officers, giving a false report, withholding information and then going back on yourself and dragging in every single person involved that also lied!" she stressed in such a deadly calm voice that it made him gulp with dread.

"I-I won't say again!" He whispered, a tear nearly coming to his eye he became so panicked.

"Good, let's hope your friend keeps her mouth shut too, or she'll join you over the wall, alright?" She then forced a tight smile on her lips to which he nodded furiously fast in reply. "Good, now get well soon." She then spoke as her departing words, turning on her heels with that irritated, tight smile still on her face as she strode off, leaving Olly to only then be able to take a normal breath once she'd gone.

* * *

Elle couldn't deny the unsettled feeling in her stomach that came with dread, she knew it was a lot to ask the group to keep both Niki's and her own involvement quiet, but after the survivors had been questioned and neither of them had been approached they both assumed they had been blissfully kept clear of the entire incident, but now that had been rattled.

She didn't want to tell Niki because she knew the woman would kick off, but of course she _would_ tell her. They were sisters of circumstance and she owed so much to her for her own survival and shaping into the harsh world she'd found herself in. It would be disrespectful of her to keep such information from her, if everything turned on them and their involvement was known then it was best they were both prepared.

"Who pissed on your strawberries?" The auburn haired woman commented dryly once she spotted her friend approach with a look of unfiltered irritation. She paused her half hearted sweep of the mess hall and leant on the broom in a mild interest to what story would come from the other woman.

"The injured kid told someone we were the ones that brought the group back on the titan hunt." Elle spoke in a serious hush, watching as her friend's face shifted from amused intrigue of Elle's pissed off demeanour and to a deep fed up loathing as she gave a slow roll of her forest eyes and sucked in a deep breath to force herself to calm down.

"Shit!" She then growled before her furious eyes came back to Elle. "We should have pushed them into the mouths of the titans!" She hissed, standing up straight and throwing the broom towards the wall to rid her hands of it's burden.

"Don't be stupid!" Elle scolded, a scowl setting on her brows.

"We would have nipped over the base wall completely unnoticed if it had been just us!" She pressed as she motioned between them.

"And what?" Elle scoffed, "Left them all to die?" She questioned as she threw her arm out to motion to nothing in particular.

"Yes!" Niki shrugged, giving a light shake of her head as if it was the easiest thing to answer.

"I couldn't do that!" She defended with a shake of her head. Niki was a hard, unforgiving character and she would do anything to keep herself safe and although Elle had learned a lot from her she wasn't as harsh as the auburn haired beauty.

"That's because you're soft!" Niki shook her head with a frown, her eyes drifting down her body and back up in a judgemental look. Elle wanted to argue that statement, she could feel her hackles raising at the other woman's words but she knew it wasn't something worth the argument, at least not this time. "Deny it as much as you want Elle but you still cling to the hope of redemption, like every good little act will take you back to the days when you had no worries in the world, all sweet and innocent!" She crossed her arms over her bust while Elle gave a huffed breath that mixed both the feelings of tiredness and annoyance; it was an accusation she'd received many times before but as bad as things had gotten for Elle they were never as bad as to turn her heart and spirit completely to stone like Niki's past had to her. "That life is gone and it's not who you are anymore so move on! You have no one left to look after you, and you have no one _you_ have to look after!" Niki tilted her head and gave a pause as she waited for her friend to look back her way, knowing she was stung more by that truth than anything else she'd said, and once she did she continued. "You're like me, Elle, you have no one." She pressed. "And when you have no one who is it you rely on?"

"Yourself." Elle uttered begrudgingly.

"We've gotten by and kept our selves safe by watching our own backs, not others." Niki clipped, "You need to try a little harder to keep it that way!" she nodded towards the other woman.

"I wouldn't say I was watching anyone's back." Elle fought back, "I simply let them follow us."

"So the injured boy you carried, you weren't watching his back?" Niki flicked up a brow in challenge.

"No, I was watching my own!" Elle countered, "Try as you might to come up with other alternatives but we wouldn't have been able to get rid of that group with out them realising and turning on us so the only thing we _could_ do was let them follow!" She stated before holding up a hand to pause her friend's attempt to interrupt. "Now imagine the upset and outrage of the group had we willingly left someone behind. Do you really think they would have stayed quiet about that once we all got back to the base?" With that Elle looked at Niki pointedly, pressing for her answer but of course the other woman refused to, knowing she'd been had on that one. "No, they wouldn't have." Elle then spoke the answer for her to further press her point.

"Yet the kid has still opened his mouth!" The auburn haired beauty scoffed.

"And he won't again." Elle assured.

"Who'd he speak to?" She then asked, a dangerous look coming to her eyes but Elle shook her head.

"What ever you're thinking off, it's a stupid idea." She warned.

"How would you know?!" She hissed back, but Elle didn't flinch, far to used to receiving the brunt of her fury.

"Because the kid obviously cares for her, he asked about her when he was injured and we were fucked!" She rolled her eyes, "So if you do anything to hurt, scare, or upset her, then I don't think he'd feel so inclined to keep quiet!" She stated.

"Oh please." Niki scoffed.

"So if I did something to threaten Erwin in some way because of a little indiscretion on your part, you wouldn't retaliate?" Elle gave a quirk of her brow and watched as her friend flashed her a vicious look, "Point proven."

"So we trust his little whore?" She scowled.

"Yes, and make him feel uncomfortable enough that he makes sure to keep her reined in." Elle nodded.

"Ugh, just uncomfortable?" The auburn haired beauty groaned, "How boring." She then uttered, she was pissed and wanted something more than making someone feel uncomfortable to get rid of her anger.

"I'm going to talk to Martyn and get him on side." Elle then huffed as she turned and walked off.

* * *

The more of them to pressure the youngsters to keeping quiet, the better their chances at keeping their involvement hidden, but as she wandered in search of the oh so cheerful Martyn she struggled against the throbbing head ache that accompanied the anger she was trying to suppress.

With a groan she lifted a hand to rub at her forehead, the pain growing as irritation started to mount with each minute that passed and she couldn't find him.

"Oh, hey?!" a voice called, "Hart right?" they waved for her attention and she turned her fed up expression their way- it was a copper haired male she didn't know, she knew his face but that was it.

"Yeah?" she both answered and asked, wondering what he wanted.

"Squad leader wants you in his office!" he stated, jabbing a thumb over his shoulder and with a look of defeat Elle simply accepted her fate.

Elle worried and her mind flew through possibilities and outcomes with each step she took. She assumed the cat was out of the bag but she still held onto a little hope it was something else. She'd come in under the time limit for the ODM forest training again, she could be pulled on that, there was also the extra combat classes to get her fighting skills up that she'd been skipping.

Elle wasn't a shit soldier, but she didn't want to be in the public eye and neither did Niki; they got them selves to a suitable level where they could protect themselves and not have to rely on their team mates but played that fact down. They kept themselves as underwhelming recruits who were easily over looked and simply blended into the crowd, they weren't known as the soldiers to be recommended or praised for their skill, they were invisible.

With a sigh of dread Elle raised a hand and knocked on the wood door, waiting for the authorisation to enter before she made her way in, being careful to keep her expression calm as she swung the door open, instantly spotting Martyn stood in front of their squad leader's desk and watching as he turned to glance back at her. A look of fear and confusion was on his face and she knew he had no clue what was going on either.

"Sir!" She saluted from where she stood next to the open door before stepping into the room once he waved her over and she remained calm and collected until she stepped past the door and the extra person in the room that had been hidden from her view until now came into her peripheral vision. Her curious eyes turned their way but her face remained forwards and lucky it did.

The way her heart froze in pure dread and horror once they made eye contact near stopped her feet as well as her pulse. Elle knew a flicker of terror came to her face the moment they locked eyes, she could see the recognition flash in his, then came the shock, surprise and relief, before horror and instantly she looked forwards again to rid herself of the emotions that flickered through those dark eyes, instead willing her entire being to calm as she carried herself the rest of the way till she stood next to Martyn, a cold sweat starting to creep up her back- this was worse, so much worse.

Levi now knew she was in the Survey Corps.


	4. Survivors

**Survivors**

Elle never thought of all the things she could ever find difficult, that breathing would be one of them. It was like her lungs had shrivelled up in her chest, she was holding her breath so long but still she didn't dare to take another breath. She didn't want to move or make a sound as she stood ridged in front of the desk, her skin prickled with the feel of those sharp eyes on her and her throat started to close in on her- panic was taking over- she wasn't ready for meeting him.

Levi's dark gaze never left Elle from the moment she'd entered his vision and he'd instantly recognised her, yet the odd niggle of doubt that was tugging away at him still. It forced him to double check as he carried himself with slow, cautious steps, taking in every detail that came clearer as he walked back into her line of sight.

"What did I do this time?" Came the well known voice of Niki, giving Elle the opportune moment to turn away from Levi just before he got a clear view of her face and she his. She gave him the back of her head instead while she looked to Niki with the most pressing wide eyed look she could manage, screaming at her with her eyes alone to both shut the fuck up and say something to save them.

"Can't enter normally, Niki?" Their superior, Roscoe Beech, signed. He gave a shake of his head before he continued. "As much as I'd love to watch you all stand here and squirm," he motioned to them all as Niki assessed the situation as best she could while she silently came to stand next to Elle. "I'll cut right to it!" He then nodded and the three turned their gazes back to him and never before had Elle given this man such undivided attention. "Niki Holt, Elle Hart, Martyn Wyre, you're all being transferred to the elites." He stated as he looked at each of their faces, Niki was unimpressed, Elle confused, and Martyn horrified.

"Why?" It was Martyn that questioned first, completely aghast at the idea.

"Well, considering your performance in last weeks expedition and previous track record-"

"Sir, we have nothing to do with the expedition, so why are we here?" Niki interrupted as she motioned between herself and Elle, gaining nothing more than a slow sigh from their superior and unimpressed flick of a brow from the Captain.

"Well, about that-" He started, wanting to address Niki's attitude and her audacity to interrupt him but he just wanted rid of the woman quickly and so he went on to explain. He missed as both Niki and Elle turned to shoot Martyn betrayed scowls at what they thought was about to come. "Martyn's name flagged up for obvious reasons," He motioned toward the younger man who then instantly held his hands up with a shake of his head.

"Sir, honestly, I don't deserve such an opportunity because it wasn't my doing-" He'd meant to continue but the hearty slap Elle gave him as she patted his back knocked the rest of his words out of him in a great breath.

"Still so humble Martyn!" She spoke with a cheery tone but tight grin. The smile didn't reach her eyes, instead they were set in a warning, daring him to risk his life if he continued, but she was partly thankful for the moment of distraction as it her mind brought back to keeping their involvement quiet.

"And our names?" Niki pressed, shifting her weight to rest more on one leg.

"To join the elites you have to be exceptional," He looked between Niki and Elle, noting both their brow raises, "And trust me, I pressed how _un_ exceptional the pair of you are!" His words brought nothing more than nods of agreement form the women. "But, you've both survived more outings than most and on more than one occasion you've been the only ones to survive out of your whole group!" He spoke with a small shrug, "You are both survivors and what ever you're doing, you're doing it right, so Erwin Smith thinks you're worth an evaluation." With that he gathered three rolls of papers from his desk, holding one to Niki first. "Here are your transfer papers." He spoke, giving them to each of the three as he spoke, "From this day on, you'll be under Captain Levi's command." He motioned to the shorter male and stepped aside so he could take the floor.

Elle lowered her eyes to stare at the roll of paper in her hand, her brow creased with confusion as she thought how this moment could even be possible. All the things they hadn't done, the people they hadn't helped, the lives they didn't save just to keep a low profile and they still get noticed- for surviving?

Anger was next to start bubbling away in her, everything she'd turned a blind eye to, the countless times she didn't swoop in to try and help because it was too last minuet or too risky. The times she'd only got herself to safety and didn't go back for others because their survival rating wasn't high enough- but that didn't matter, none of it did, so long as she was invisible she continued that way, completely unnoticed so she'd never get flagged up to meet the likes of the Captain. Yet here she was, stood before the very man she'd avoided for years, blood on her hands and heartless- all those lives she'd willingly wasted was for nothing.

Levi noticed Elle hadn't met his eyes a second time and he wasn't sure what the reason for that was. Either the woman in front of him bared a striking resemblance to the one he knew, or she'd forgotten him completely. "Alright, listen up." He called for their attention, deciding now wasn't the time to be solving the mystery that had just appeared in front of him. "I'll be the one to evaluate what skills you do and do not have." His eyes finally left the familiar face to take note of the others he'd been lumped with. Levi noticed that Martyn was giving him his full attention- out of fear of course- but the auburn haired woman was looking to her friend in the corner of her eye and Levi could tell by the studying look on her face that she'd noticed something was off with her friend. "If you don't impress me you'll be back here shovelling horse shit with in the week." he crossed his arms over his chest as he studied the three and their reactions, for the most part Elle and Martyn where too busy drowning in their separate pools of shock and despair which left Niki.

"Or we could just show you what we're made of here and save the trip back?" She muttered with a roll of her eyes. Her attitude was present but her tone quiet as she was unsure on how the Captain would react, but still she tested the boundaries.

" _I_ say when and where your skills will be tested!" He fixed those deadly eyes on her and hers narrowed in response. Niki was unsure of the dominance she was receiving, it was as if it was the first time she'd ever been challenged for it. "I also say when you can address me, so speak out of line one more time Holt." His tone was strong with both his authority and challenge, daring the auburn haired woman to talk back to him, a threat implied but not needed to be spoken, baiting her to find out what would happen.

After a suitable amount of silence as Niki struggled with herself it was the moment her eyes flicked away from Levi's to glare else where, backing down but showing him that although she didn't challenge him further this time, she would no doubt test his patience other times. "Pack your things, we leave first thing tomorrow." He clipped, throwing a quick glance over the three, watching as they all gave a nod of understanding, saluted and turned to leave. "Elle Hart?" Levi then called, pausing the woman.

Her skin prickled at the question in his tone of voice. It wasn't in the way of asking for her attention but more of the questioning of her name. With a deep breath for strength she spun back around and stood up straight, giving a salute and standing to attention. "Sir!" She replied, her eyes finding a stern, confident and concentrated stare at the wall just to the side of his head, only looking towards him but not at him.

"Oh, favourite already?" Niki scoffed from outside in the hall way and instantly the Captain's eyes flashed to her while he spoke to their former superior.

"Remove her before I contemplate leaving her here." He all but growled and with a hasty nod and salute Roscoe rushed forwards and closed the door of the office behind him much to Elle's dismay.

Silence fell after the argument outside faded away down the hall and Elle used this time to take in and list every detail she could see on the wall behind the Captain.

"My eyes are over here, or is your aim a little off?" he clipped at her, telling her he knew she was avoiding his eyes and asking for her to look at him.

Elle instantly dropped her gaze for a moment as she took in a refreshing breath- there was no escape now and no more hiding in the ranks with the rest of the plain soldiers, this was the moment she'd always avoided because no matter how much she prepared herself she'd never be ready. "My aim could be better, Sir." She spoke as she lifted her gaze to finally meet his, no shock in her eyes this time, just uncertainty.

They stood in silence for what felt like an eternity. Elle didn't know what she wanted to say and she was the one that knew this meeting could be a possibility so she could completely understand Levi's silence on the matter. "I thought you were dead." He finally found his voice and words to speak, but it was a statement rather than any question that came to him first.

"Sorry to disappoint you." She uttered in response, a small smile curling at her lips but neither of them felt any humour. "But you shouldn't be surprised, just because you haven't see someone in years doesn't mean they're dead... then again in a way I am!" She then lifted a single shoulder to give an almost carefree shrug. The person she used to be was long gone, as was her life.

"Your house was brought to the ground in ashes." Again that was a statement, but anger came to his tone- annoyed by her casual attitude.

"You came to the house?" She questioned, a look of surprise lightening her features as she regarded him. She watched as he broke eye contact and turned his head away from her and she was unsure why- was it that he felt embarrassed or stupid he'd gone all those years ago? "I'm not your responsibility, Levi, I never expected you to come for me." She shook her head gently as her gaze wandered off, unseeing as he turned back to her, his brows knotted in question.

"What happened to you?" he tilted his head a faction to observe her, seeing as she turned from him a little more when he asked her, her eyes taking on a distant gleam and face relaxing of emotions as she dropped into her own memoires for a moment before her brows creased with a light frown. The look showed that she didn't want to be looking back.

"The story is a tad long and I have to pack." Elle looked back to him with a shake of her head and again that empty smile came to her face. "If that's all, Sir, I'll make a start on packing." She motioned to the door as she managed an air of casual calm and with only the stretching silence as her approval she eventually turned and headed for the door, opening it wide and stepping free of the office.

"Eloise!" He called back for her attention but the name alone caused her blood to freeze, her body unable to take another step as she slowly looked back over her shoulder, her face carved with a deep aching hurt that came with that name.

"It's been a long time since I've heard that name." She replied, her voice feeling odd in it's unsteady weakness as the back of her eyes began to prickle.

"This isn't the end of it!" A single brow flicked up as he fixed her with a stern look while a short breathy huff of a laugh escaped her- she knew he wouldn't just drop this situation.

"I gathered." She nodded in reply before continuing on her way, her forced smile easily slipping from her face with each step she took. She felt oddly lost as to why she wanted to cry, it'd been so long since she'd shed a tear and she was sure they'd dried up but after hearing _that_ name, _her_ name, it was like it'd brought back a part of her she'd shut away and ignored. Eloise wasn't strong, she didn't have to be, it wasn't until everything changed that _she_ then had too, Eloise was left behind that night she burnt her house to the ground, walking away with next to nothing as Elle.

* * *

The afternoon air greeted her like a welcoming embrace as she stepped outside. The cooling breeze calmed her burning lungs as she took the first pain free breath since she'd gotten free of the office and the Captain. Her hand came up to push her hair free of face before she then pressed the heel of her palm against her forehead to battle against the building pressure in her skull. "I was not ready for this!" She groaned, a look of pain cringing on her face. "I was never going to be either." She added at a whisper, "You're such a fucking idiot." She sighed as she hung her head and continued her dejected walk.

Why the scouts?

Again that question came to her.

Why avoid Levi?

That was another thought that came to her sometimes but she never gave it much attention and tended to ignore it and soon enough avoiding him was something she just did it and the longer it went on the more she felt she couldn't come forward.

"Hey, Elle!?" Niki's voice called through her haze of confusion and self loathing, instantly adding to the growing hate for the day.

"What?" The called woman hissed as she turned to look at her friend.

"What the hell happened back there?" The auburn haired beauty questioned with a raise of a slim brow.

"Exactly that- _hell._ " She groaned, pulling her hand back down her face before taking another refreshing breath and looking to the transfer paper in her other hand. "What are we going to do about this now?" She questioned as she held the paper up. "Are you ready for Erwin to find out about you?"

"Oh please," Niki scoffed with a smug grin. "He'll never know about me!" She crossed her arms, fully confident in the matter, "We've hardly been pulled up because of our outstanding skills," She then rolled her eyes, "Nor have we been pulled for any fake details or past deeds!" She threw in a shrug as she spoke. "We simply had a curious pattern for survival, that's it, that's all we've been pulled for."

"If you say so." Elle sighed.

"If we keep doing what we're doing, we'll be sent back here in no time!" Niki gave a carefree smile while Elle shot her a frown.

"Letting people die?" She questioned.

"You rather take their place?" The forest eyed woman threw back. "Because if you die, then I'm going to struggle with my hobby and I'm not going back to _that_ place just so I can keep it up!"

"Why keep it up? What do you owe Erwin?" Elle shook her head, of all the years they'd been together she never knew her reason for being a shady little kiss ass for the Commander, and she'd never really asked because it meant Niki couldn't ask about her.

"Some times there's no reasons for why we do the things we do, Elle!" She answered with a shrug and a sign.

"But there _is_ a reason for you risking your life and mine to bring him information." Elle stated.

"Don't be so sour, we hardly do it often!" Niki waved way with a tut, before walking away, forgetting the fact she didn't get much information out of the woman regarding her little meeting with the Captain. Elle knew she'd be instantly side tracked the moment she brought up the Commander.

"I guess as long as the Commander doesn't know our faces we can scrape by." Elle then signed, the great thing about being unexceptional is no one remembers your face. Niki and herself could stride past influential characters in plain clothes one day and their uniform the next and they wouldn't even be taken any notice of.

It was how they survived.


	5. Regret

**Regret**

She'd be late for dinner if she didn't move and the higher ranks wouldn't take too nicely to it either, this she knew, but still she remained at the fence in a peaceful stare.

No matter what they were doing she found comfort and calm in watching the horses go about their day; watching them graze together, play together and at odd times settle their disputes.

With a deep breath Elle raised her head from where she'd been resting her chin on her folded arms, standing up straight and ridding the fence of her burden. She kept a grip on the wood as she leaned herself back, giving her arms a good stretch and extending the muscles as she pushed her shoulders forwards till that pull of tension forced her to relax again.

"Well, hello," She muttered to herself as a chestnut mare lumbered towards her.

The horse's head remained at a low level, knowing the woman was anything but new or exciting and therefore not worth raising it's head to.

"And how are we?" Elle questioned, her brows raising as if she expected an answer while her body slumped back to lean on the fence again.

The mare flicked her ears towards the woman and raised her velvet muzzle, nostrils flaring with the single snort she gave.

"That's good," Elle's voice droned, chin in hand and not bothered by the sprinkling of snot she'd received.

The horse was a beautiful creature, long legged and built of muscle; it was a shame it's only purpose was to gallop into titan territory carrying barely functioning humans- not including herself of course.

The chestnut mare, Elle had ridden before and it had been a thrill. The animal was keen and fiery, it kept a powerful stride that was hard to rein in and the excitement at letting it free to take it's own pace was thrilling.

"Hey, Four?" Elle asked for the horse's attention, stretching a hand out towards the animal's neck. Her fingers could just catch a smooth of the mare's glossy coat, the colour took on a brilliant amber in the low light of the setting sun.

The horse didn't pause it's grazing, only a single ear flicked round to acknowledge it heard her.

"You going to bring a horse into the stables or what?" A gruff voice bellowed.

Both the mare and Elle's heads rose up in surprise, turning to seek out the owner, "Sir," Elle greeted her now old squadron leader with a salute.

"No salutes, Hart," He waved away as he came closer, "You are not my problem anymore so I don't care." He didn't look at her, only reached a hand for the horse. He cupped a strong, calloused palm over the mare's nose, bringing her alert head down to relax.

"Have I missed dinner?" Elle questioned, unsure on why he would be here.

"Who knows?" He shrugged, smoothing his other hand up the side of the mare's cheek, "I haven't gone either."

Elle regarded the man a moment, Roscoe Beech; he was older than her and the most she knew of the man was how he quickly tired of his soldiers antics and the worst were Niki and herself.

"Why?" She pressed, searching the frown on his face and the answer was there- guilt.

"I wanted to apologise," Roscoe started, now looking away from the mare and to Elle. "I brought your names up." He confessed.

Elle looked at him for a moment, her head tilting to one side as she allowed herself some time to think, "How?" she asked.

With a deep breath Beech looked back to the mare, moving his hand up the striking white blaze on her face before letting his hands retreat from the beast. "The conversation was mainly about Martyn," He started, "Then I was asked if there were any other exceptional characters worth a mention," He took this moment to glance towards her, "Which of course was a no." He pressed and Elle gave a look of agreement.

A nod of her head accompanied her words, "There aren't many decent here, let alone exceptional." she spoke.

Roscoe gave a grunt in accordance to her words, "The only thing exceptional is how two mediocre soldiers always make it out of every scouting party without so much as a scratch." His tone was calm and level, these words being something he hadn't just said this once, nor did they sound rehearsed- just repeated.

Elle kept quiet for a moment, thinking that perhaps he would continue but he didn't, he chose to watch the mare instead. "Is that what you said?" She pried.

A deep sigh deflated his chest, "It was a comment I gave in passing, sarcastic a best," He shook his head, shoulders raising in a small, limp shrug before he looked to her and continued, "But they found it interesting." Confusion came to his face as he spoke, the outcome obviously still surprising him.

Elle regarded him and his words a moment. She wasn't angry or upset with _him_ , it was his job to report such things after all; and it wasn't out of spite that he mentioned Niki and herself, "Why are you apologising for that, though?" She didn't understand, he was doing his job.

Roscoe lifted a hand to rub at his creased forehead, "I feel like I've signed your death warrant," His voice was low- regretful.

Elle didn't feel any where near as cut up about the situation as Roscoe and brushed off his words, "Hardly," She laughed.

His eyes shot to her in a moment of alarm, his brows coming together and showing he was at a loss to her reaction.

She understood that Niki and her own life would hang on his conscience should anything happen; he did after all believe then to be useless. "We've gotten by fine so far," She then explained, "Besides, I'm sure the Captain won't send us out if he thinks we'll be a liability to him and others." She then gave a shrug, watching as he mulled over her words.

Elle turned away from him and watched the horses once more, giving Roscoe the peace to think on her words with out her prying stare.

With a slow and refreshed breath he felt lightened from a burden, his eyes turning to look towards the horses too, "Well, keep safe Hart." Were his departing words and Elle bobbed her head in reply, watching in the corner of her eye as he went off on his way.

Elle dropped into silence, the only sound coming from the tare of grass as the chestnut mare grazed.

She wasn't scared of being put in the elites; Niki and herself could handle themselves, plus it wasn't set in stone. If she was slow on her ODM runs and failed her combat training then she'd be sent packing from the elites the very next day.

Then Levi came to mind.

No. It wasn't surviving the elites she worried over. It was plunging back into the past.

"Hey, Four, how easy do you reckon it would be to boycott Levi?" She asked. The mare lifted her head, eyes uninterested and ears relaxed, only the crunch of grass sounding as she gnawed away at her mouthful. "I have a feeling he's going to be like a dog with a bone." Elle sighed, pushing her fingers up the sides of her nose and around her eye sockets.

She was completely and utterly done with today.

It really couldn't get worse.

* * *

The holler of her name caused an instant hush across the mess hall. Eating paused, heads turned, and eyes watched.

Elle allowed her eyes to lower to the ground, her tongue swiping over her dry lips to ready their reply but instead she gave up with a huff- there was no fight left today.

Niki perked with interest, those forest green eyes of hers locking onto Elle, ready to catch her attention when she looked up.

The look of exasperation was something the auburn haired woman had never seen before, and she was sure in that moment that Elle would turn and floor Ozan if he pushed her any further.

"Hart!" Ozan called again, his voice such a great boom that it drowned out the sound of his own chair scraping against the stone as he stood.

Ozan Hawthorn- Elle was all for keeping a low profile but if there was one person to know her name and face anywhere, it was him. He loathed her very existence and she wasn't too fond of him either.

Elle mulled the man over in her mind as she gave a slow half turn to threw a look over her shoulder and at the herculean male. He was a hefty man with shoulders seemingly as wide as his legs were long and carried such a mass of muscle it caused him to lumber rather than walk.

" _Sir_?" Elle clipped in question. She was in an awful mood and it had worsened as the hours drew out in the day, bring with them little surprises and _this_ she could not deal with.

The steps he took were slow and powerful, the sound and vibrations he caused with each thumping pace was rivalled by only that of the titans. "You have missed every damn combat class this week!" He bellowed between each clout of his feet.

Elle craned her neck back to look up at him, her eyes squinting both in confusion and in focus to see the distant head sat upon his shoulders, "You're only counting this week?" she questioned.

The hiss of the various gasps around her spread across the room like a wave, others passing on her reply for those who couldn't hear and all cringing in horror.

She missed a lot of her combat classes and never took it seriously when she was in them, she didn't learn anything new and she wanted to be seen as nothing other than a shit fighter. It suited her. She didn't get any recommendations, just the passionate hate of the teacher.

Rage was clear to see on Ozan, it rose up from beneath his collar and claimed his neck, face, and scalp in such a blaze of red that the man near glowed. Great tree like veins either side his neck grew upwards and outwards a little more with each enraged pump of his heart, while his teeth ground together when his lids couldn't move any further back from his furious eyes.

Shirt or hair?

That's what flew through Elle's head as she prepared herself for the aftermath of her cheek. Ozan had a habit of either taking a fist full of shirt or hair to pull insubordinates in for a beating; nothing fancy or overzealous though.

Punch or knee?

That was the next thought, what would the punishment be.

Elle only had her tunic on, no other layers for him to grab and although Ozan didn't care about hitting a woman he did care about unintentionally grabbing their breasts- so it was her hair he took a fist full of instead.

Her brows crashed together in scowl, jaw clenched and the rest of her muscles joined in preparation as they too tensed, ready for the blow. She fought the automatic urge to grapple at his hand in her hair, instead smartly keeping her hands free to block her punishment- or so she thought.

Ozan brought his head back with a deep in-hail, stretching up to his full height and back a little to obtain maximum distance before hurling his great cranium down and thrusting hers forwards to meet it.

The mighty crack that sounded near deafen the room, jaws grew slack and winces were shared as if they too felt the pain; watching in horror as the woman teetered back from the assault.

She was unsteady, her arms floundered for balance and feet failed to keep up with the momentum the head-butt had caused.

Various gasps and shouts sounded as she landed on the bench behind her. The young ones she'd nearly squashed were barely able to slide out of the way as she crashed between them and pushed the table back when she fell against it, forcing it into the stomachs of those sat on the other side.

"Hawthorn!" _His_ name was barked this time, but he didn't recognise the voice and so he didn't move.

He stood like a volcano that had just erupted, hulking in size, scolding red and slowly simmering as each great pant forced the rage from his body- but he'd still be easy to tick off.

Elle's eyes swam with the pain, her head lolling like a drunk as she tried to pick it up off the table while her arms grappled with the two poor souls either side of her as she used them for balance in helping her up from her slump.

The head-butt came as a surprise.

"Fuck," Niki muttered slowly from where she was watching, the piece of bread that had been forgotten about half way towards her mouth now making it's destination as she took a bite. Elle's best bet was to stay down, but she knew the woman was petty enough to get another dig in even if it killed her.

Elle's hand shook as she raised it towards her head, confused as to why her face felt wet before the blood on her finger tips gave her the answer, a short humourless laugh then following, "I was wondering when you were going to change it up," She spoke as she peered up at the man, her eyes working hard to focus on him while a slow grin worked it's way to her lips, "because you punch like a bitch."

The two sat either side of her made quick work of abandoning their seats, scrabbling up and getting themselves clear of the scene and even causing a few others to do so too.

Things were going to kick off.

Without her supporting peers either side of her Elle slumped down again, her elbows needing a few attempts to find the tabletop behind her before she was able to pull herself back up into a proper sit and wait for the next punishment.

Ozan lumbered towards her, his steps slow and booming and she guessed this time it would definitely be a punch. He'd want to show her the strength, make her eat her words- regret them.

Again she prepared herself, body tensing and brows forming a ready wince as she watched him come for her and had the action not been right in front of her she would have missed it.

The blur of speed and surprising strength of the short male.

As Ozan's raging eyes bore down on Elle he was unaware of the new presence that easily caught up to his slow march.

The black crop of hair ducked past Ozan's left, getting just in front of the great height of a man and planting his left leg firmly as he then turned with power and precision. Using both the full turn of his body and Ozan's own forward momentum, Levi didn't hold back any strength as he brought his right heel around and into the bulking man's abdomen.

A great 'gawf' sounded as all air left Ozan in a rush and his body lurched forwards, his great heigh being reduced to half as he doubled over while Levi brought his right foot down with a stomp; his balance was impeccable as he then shifted his weight to next bring a swift left knee up and into the muscular man's face.

Ozan Hawthorn fell back and to the ground like a mighty tree. All watched in awe at the beastly man as his body hit the stone floor and with such force that it cause a few in the mess hall to grip their tables to keep themselves steady.

Eyes shifted from the defeated mountain, to the shot Captain and back.

Surely they had missed something?

What they witnessed couldn't be truth?

Again Niki sat at her safe observing distance, unwilling to get involved and bread once more forgotten on the way to her mouth as she gave another low and slow, " _Fuck_." she was both immensely impressed and terrified.

Elle's slack jaw came to a fast close when those coal eyes flashed to her, her throat clenching with a sudden fright she struggled to gulp down.

Retreat. That's what her mind screamed at her as her eyes darted away from the Captain and she pulled herself up onto dizzy legs. Her head swam with the pain but she fought against it as best she could till it teamed up with her unfocused sight and sent her clattering back onto the bench.

Levi had seen movements like hers before; in alcoholics. As he watched her leg kick up in the air as her back met the bench he couldn't help but think, all that was missing was a bottle in those flailing hands of hers.

Clearing the distance between them, Levi then fisted his hands into the front of her tunic and pulled her up into a sit. He was a little rough as her forced her to turn and shoved her back so she could slump against the table again, "You're a mess." He sneered and she snorted.

That cold smile he was quickly becoming to hate came to her face as she looked up at him, "Count it as my evaluation and leave me here then." She uttered lowly.


	6. Headache

**Headache**

Drums? That was all she could hear, the deep constant beat. They never changed rhythm or volume, only continued to pound away. "It's blinding." Elle moaned as she flattened a hand against her face and closed her eyes. The thumping headache was so severe she was sure the pressure would push her eyes from their sockets.

Niki looked to her with a carefree shrug, "Well, you had to piss off Ozan." She stated, unsympathetic as usual.

With another groan of pain, Elle let her bag slip from her shoulder and brought her other hand to her face. There was a small relief brought as she covered her eyes and saved them from the harsh light of the day.

"It's not hard to piss him off," She then muttered, "He kicked a cadet in the face a few weeks ago because the kid sneezed after he'd ordered everyone to be quiet." She started to dig her finger tips into her forehead, kneading away at the raging headache banging away behind her skull. "The man is unhinged!" She declared and she did not hear anyone approaching, she could barely hear herself over her pounding head. "Then again," She restarted as she let her hands drop away from her face and squinted to see in the brightness once again, "He's _so_ tall, the air up there must be too thin for him to breath." She shook her head lightly before her bleary eyes finally brought Niki into focus- and the auburn haired woman's slow head shake.

She was telling her silently to stop.

"Is. That. So!?" Came the slow, gruff response from the mountain of a man himself.

With her brows raised Niki shared a quick knowing look with Elle, telling her she was in trouble with only her expression as she then slowly turned and left her friend to it.

It wasn't fear or dread that came to Elle, just annoyance at herself. She had successfully dropped herself in trouble when she didn't want to be, but still she accepted her fate.

With her head hung low Elle gave a slow pivot, her eyes finding Ozan's feet first. They were like boats they were so long. She then made a real meal of lifting her gaze to meet his, biding her time as her eyes climbed his great frame till finally she came to his face.

She was stunned a moment as she looked at him. She had been expecting him to be as he normally was. A broad structured face of steel bones.

Instead his impressively square jaw that jutted out a little further than the rest of his face and usually set stern was now a limp in defeat. His thin lips that stayed in a constant sneer were now puckered with swelling and his broad nose oddly sat more to one side of his face with a great gash to decorate it. His seething blue eyes that were deep in their sockets and a little too close together on his face were less intimidating when one was forced shut with great puffy lids that were a brilliant mix of purple shades. He was battered.

Elle had never seen the man with a bruise and the sight before her was some what wonderful. Too much in fact, because try as she might she could _not_ stop the smile that started to creep onto her face. "Ooh, he got you good." She basically praised, openly showing how shocked and pleased she was over it.

Again his bare scalp came alive with a brilliant red as his anger flared, "Do you ever learn to shut your mouth?" He near growled, forcing his words through grit teeth as he brought a great hand down and gripped the top of her head.

He pulled all hair free of her face and showed off the great bruised lump that sat on her forehead, ignoring her discomfort his heavy hand brought. "If you're going to _try_ and teach me a lesson, I'd rather you not," She fixed him with a glare, "It'd just just be a waste of my time."

There was truth to her words because there was nothing he could teach her that she didn't already know and there wasn't any way he could hit her, that someone hadn't already done but harder.

"Do you have a death wish?" He threatened, looming his battered face closer to hers.

She flicked a single brow up, ignoring the twinge of pain it caused her swollen forehead, "Obviously, I'm in the scouts." She answered back.

Ozan's brows twitched a moment as they were released from their deep scowl to show his surprise. He had never understood the woman, she'd never been afraid of him, no matter what he did. It was odd for someone who lacked so much in self defence skills be so fearless when threatened. "What are you?" He pondered.

Ozan couldn't question any more as the presence of another interrupted him. Normally the bulky man couldn't be stopped once he started on an insubordinate but he'd learnt the hard way to listen to the short male when first called.

"Honestly," Elle started, unknowing of the Captain's presence as her attention was fully on Ozan, "I'm nothing but a waste of space." She sounded casual as she spoke but still she felt that to be true and as Ozan's one good eye came back to her in shock he could see in that empty glare she believed it.

He released her with a shove, causing her to take two paces back to catch herself, "You're a glutton for punishment is what you are!" he grumbled loudly in distaste, lifting a beefy finger to jab towards her in a point to further press his words as he then lumbered past her.

"Nothing I don't deserve." She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. She was mildly surprised she hadn't been hit yet and chose to take Ozan's moment of calm to pick her bag back up instead of re-igniting his anger.

"Captain." The larger man greeted, passing a nod to the shorter male but not stopping.

Elle perked at the title, turning just in time to catch the great beast of a man leave before she looked to Levi. It made sense now. The reason Ozan's anger suddenly simmered down was because of _his_ presence _._

Having a knife thrown at her was nothing in comparison to how those sharp, coal eyes flashed to her. The cold dread that pierced her chest from that look alone was worse than any stab from a blade. "Sir." She greeted with a salute.

He turned more to face her. Face stoic but eyes deadly as he regarded her. She looked almost fearful but he wasn't sure what of. It most definitely hadn't been Ozan and she didn't seem to be too scared of him either, but still he could see a fear in her.

He'd heard what she had said about herself and he was in some mind to address it. He couldn't deny he was curious about her but it was obvious the talk of where she'd gone and what she'd been up to would be hard to get out of her. "Do you want to saddle your horse some time _today_!?" He clipped at her. He chose to let it slide for now. He had time to get answers out of her.

With an obedient nod Elle gripped her bag a little tighter, "Yes, Sir." She bowed her head a little as she walked towards him, continuing on the path she was taking to the stables. He stopped her.

With out a word his hand reached out and gripped onto her upper arm, stopping her at his side and neither of them turned to look at one another. " _Don't_ get into fights you can't handle _ever_ again." His tone was threatening. It was almost like if she went against those words then he would be the consequence.

"I'm _not_ _yours_ to protect." She bit back in the same tone. She didn't know where the anger came from but she knew it was misplaced when she directed it at Levi.

She didn't need anyone to jump to her rescue, nor did she want it- but there was something else. Elle didn't want anyone risking their safety for her, no matter how minute it may be. If she couldn't save herself then that was her problem. Her stomach churned with sickness at the thought of someone getting hurt to protect her- especially _him._

With nothing more to be said she pulled her arm from his hold and continued on her way.

Elle's furious thoughts did her already battered head no favours. A wince seemed constant on her face and so she thought of how to distract from the blinding headache.

"Hey, this one's yours!" Martyn called with a jab of his thumb once he spotted Elle, "The horse is a right bitch, so it'd match you perf- S-sir!" He stuttered to stop himself and salute. He'd noticed too late that the Captain was tailing behind Elle.

Martyn's reaction raised a small snort of a laugh from Elle. She guessed he was going to be the best distraction she could find and was some what thankful for his idiocy.

"Hey Four!" She greeted the chestnut mare. She was unaware of the side eyes she'd received from both Levi and Martyn, too engrossed with running her hand up the brilliant white blaze on the horse's face.

"Four?" Martyn questioned. He had to.

"What?" Elle turned to look at him over her shoulder.

"The horse is called Four?" He shook his head, sandy brown hair shifting with the motion.

Elle lifted her shoulders in a shrug and shook her head, "I don't know what she's called," She answered honestly, "I just call her Four."

Silence filled the stables for a moment, Martyn's mouth opening and closing before he found his words, "That's because _you're_ supposed to name your horse!" He shook his head, speaking to her as if she was stupid.

She narrowed her eyes at him, she'd received enough tones today, "And _I've_ named her Four!" She mimicked his tone back.

Again silence fell and Martyn's mouth gawked about for an answer. "W-what? Why!?" he had to get to the bottom of the odd name.

Elle hung her head back with a sigh of annoyance. Perhaps Martyn wouldn't be a distraction, just another headache? "Because she's the fourth horse I've ridden!" She clipped at him like it was the simplest thing to understand.

From where he was leaning against the stall holding his own horse Levi's eyes narrowed a little as he assessed her answer. It was an oddly distant thing to do.

With a shake of her head, Elle went about dressing the mare in it's tack. She ignored Martyn's droning about her choice of name and managed to completely block his voice out. She only came back to the conversation when Niki waded in.

"For fuck sake, Martyn!" The auburn haired woman scolded in irritation, "Not everyone wants to name a bastard animal and get attached only to watch it's head get caved in by a fucking Titan's foot!" she hissed, easily swinging herself up onto her horse and giving it a rough kick.

Elle watched with raised brows as Niki went from the stable, not needing to look at Martyn to know he had a face of wide eyed shock.

"Hurry it up already!" Levi then spoke up as he lead his horse from it's stall and out the stables. He'd taken in everything he had heard and saw in the exchanged between the three and came to the quick conclusion that the male was the odd one out in the group.

Wordlessly Elle fixed her bag to the back of the saddle while Martyn mounted his horse. She gave the mare another quick smooth before she too pulled herself up onto the saddle.

There was no running away now, only working to be a failure so Levi would send them back. Yet as she kicked her horse into a walk to catch up with the group she couldn't help but feel she wanted to do better.

Elle thought of everything she didn't do in order to preserve her invisibility and how that had been for nought. She knew she couldn't make a huge difference, but she could help. She wanted to help, but she came as a team with Niki. They were in this together and Niki put only one person above herself- for what ever reason. Erwin.

Elle had never jumped to save Niki and vice versa. They both agreed to work together but to look after their own backs. They had an understanding- don't risk each other's lives and don't risk your own life for another.

That's how they survived.


	7. Tussle

**Tussle**

Elle swayed lazily in motion with her horse. Not bothering to hold onto the reins she happily let the animal carry her, trusting the horse to follow after the group. Elle was not a straight back, pristine rider, if anything she should be classed as baggage because sitting in a slouch on the saddle and plaiting the mare's mane was anything _but_ riding.

"You should watch where you're riding, Hart," Martyn commented from where he was watching her. He had dropped a little bit behind her in their silent ride, having took the time to swerve towards a bush with small red berries in ordered to grab a few.

"Why?" Elle questioned. She finished the small plait she was working on before she turned to cast a look at Martyn. She was going to add something snappy but instead chose to raise a brow at him and the piece of bush he was carrying. "What the hell are you doing with that?" She shook her head.

Martyn looked at the large sprig of shrubbery in his hand. The gnarled wood reaching out with a few small leaves was rather ugly but the berries looked sweet; it was only after he'd yanked off the small branch and plucked one of the berries he realised they were rather solid. "I thought it'd be a good snack?" He offered as an answer, throwing in a shrug too.

Elle let a frown come to her brows as she thought a moment, "Are you sure they're not poisonous?" She questioned to which he shrugged again.

"I dunno?" He shook his head, "That's why I'm not eating them!"

She looked him over a moment, her eyes dropping down his form and back up, clearly unimpressed "Your survival skills amaze me." She droned sarcastically with a blank look and simple shake of the head.

"Oi!" Martyn frowned as he plucked a berry and tossed it at her.

The small solid berry struck Elle right on the forehead- much to both their amazement as neither thought he'd land a hit.

"Ow!" She spoke with a scoff. The great lump on her forehead _was_ rather tender!

Elle picked up her reins and slowed the chestnut mare to bring her next to Martyn, she then snatched a bit of his stolen shrub and armed herself. "Rude shit!" She commented as she plucked a berry and threw it, watching it hit his cheek and bounce off before she kicked her horse to move in front again.

The pair engaged in a silent war of the berries for the next few minutes. They lobbed the hard little fruits at one another and tried to dodge the other's attack; all with out making a sound so they wouldn't be noticed.

"Shit." Elle hissed once she'd disarmed herself of her last berry and scowled back at Martyn and his victorious grin.

The man gave a quiet triumphant laugh, holding his bountiful sprig aloft to show case his plentiful ammo supply and in reply Elle flipped him a quick middle finger.

With a smirk Martyn readied another red pellet and fired it at her, but Elle was quick. She swerved out the way and retaliated with the twig she'd stolen from him. Giving it a hard over arm throw, the bit of wood and leaves soared wonderfully between the horses and slapped Martyn square in the face.

Elle snickered as he shook both the leaves and surprise from his face. He then kicked his horse to come up next to hers and plucked off another berry. "Looks like you're all out of ideas, Hart!" He grinned.

"Will you two fucking stop!" Niki hissed back at them, having had to brush the berry Elle had dodged off her shoulder.

With a scoff, Martyn rolled his eyes as his attention came to the auburn haired woman in front of them, "Moody bitch," He clipped and put all his might into his throw as he lobbed a berry at her.

Niki was quick to duck her head down and both Elle and Martyn could do nothing more than watch in unfiltered horror.

The solid little berry stayed it's course, soaring straight and true till it collided with the back of the Captain's head. That jet black hair of his shifted out of place from the hit and instantly he pulled his horse to a dead stop.

The three trailing him stumbled to halt their horses and waited in fear but to Elle's surprise she received a face full of shrubbery.

She looked down at the berry branch in hand before her alarmed eyes shot up just as Levi turned with a look of death.

His eyes landed on her and her jaw instantly dropped, excuses and explanations lost to her tongue as the painful lashing that came with his glare struck the very soul from her.

She couldn't look anymore guilty if she tried. There was no point in trying for innocence, but anger was an option!

Elle turned to Martyn with a deep scowl as she lifted the berry branch and swatted him over the head with it, "Dick!" She hollered at him before hitting him again and again.

Martyn gave a wail at the attack, screwing his eyes closed and lifting his arms to try and protect his head, "Stop!" He tried for a truce but she didn't calm. With one eye peeking open he reached out to grapple with her arms, fighting to still her.

"Enough!" The anger in Levi gave his voice a roughness that not only berated Martyn and Elle, but also had Niki's skin prickling.

The three could only look to the Captain like children that had been scolded. All wide eyed and waiting to receive punishment. But Levi took too long.

Ever the opportunist, Martyn used Elle's moment of stun to retake the branch. He snatched it away in an upwards motion, clipping the woman in the chin and causing the twigs to scratch up her face. Her fury was back. Elle turned on him, bring her fist along with her and struck the man so hard it forced him from his saddle.

Martyn fell from his horse with impressive flare and Niki choked on a laugh she failed to hide.

To their surprise the man could take a hit and a fall. He'd rolled back once he hit the ground and bounced up onto his feet effortlessly.

Martyn was one of the most skilled in their lower division but he wasn't without his flaws. He had the skills and strengths to make it in a higher ranked division _but_ he was notoriously difficult. Martyn was stuck in his ways and had a major problem with criticism. He'd passed by chance after chance of getting moved up ranks because pride would not have him change.

Elle guessed it was the snobbery that came from his upbringing.

Martyn Wyre was from the safety of wall Sina. His family was of comfort and wealth. His upbringing had been rather luxurious in comparison to some but he acted as if he'd been given the worst hardships; and he gained few friends because of it.

From the moment Elle had met him, she'd thought of him as nothing more than a spoilt brat. Yet he'd left that comfortable life of his to join the military. He'd given up his wealth and safety to join the scouts.

She'd never wondered why before now.

Martyn's sandy brown hair remained dishevelled but it was the least of his worries as he came marching around his horse's rear, yelling, "What is your problem!?"

Elle fully released her reins so she could better turn in the saddle. " _You're_ my problem at the moment!" She frowned at him. She had the mother of all headaches and had little patience for him.

"Fight!" Came the grinning encouragement from Niki up front.

"Holt!" Levi scolded, his scowl near thundering it was such a powerful look.

Instantly Niki's devilish grin faded but she wouldn't be silenced by him again. "Just a word of warning Cap, you can't place those two anywhere together." She motioned towards the bickering two, momentarily blocking out their slanging match.

Levi's eyes nearly cut Niki they flashed back to her so quickly. There was enough fury and disgust in the slight knot in his brow that he didn't even need to raise his voice. "If you address me as anything other than Captain or Sir, I'll kick your teeth clean from your mouth." With that he turned his horse and moved back to the other insubordinate little shits. Levi did not notice nor care about the look that came to Niki's face after.

She decided then and there that she hated him. Her lips were turned down in a sneer and eyes in a deadly lust for his blood. That look was her true self; dark and unforgiving.

Martyn and Elle didn't hear their Captain calling for them again. Martyn was too focused on the mighty swat he'd landed on the chestnut mare's rump and Elle horrified by it.

The animal gave a whine of protest at the hit. She threw her head back and rose up, uncaring as her rider flopped awkwardly back in the saddle and legs swung up to try and counter balance. The mare was unforgiving once she brought her front hooves back to the ground, bucking up her rear next and bouncing Elle right off her back.

Levi could only scoff as he watched Elle tumble down from her mount. His anger was forgotten a moment and replaced with annoyance. Cadet brats weren't half as childish as these two adults that were about to start rolling around in the dirt in battle.

Elle wheezed into the soil. She was a little winded from the landing but still pushed herself up, ready to get up and pummel Martyn- but the man was on her.

He was unrelenting and obviously had some major pent up anger directed towards her. He flew at her, aiming to get on top of her and get her pinned to the floor; but Elle saw it coming. She kept in a crouch and only stood a little when Martyn came in range.

Fisting both hands into his shirt she then let her body drop back to the floor. Once she was on her back again she swiftly got her feet under him and adding the power of her kick and his own attacking momentum she sent him over her and away from her.

Martyn flew an impressive distance and landed far worse than when he'd fallen from the horse. He lay a moment in stun, confused as to why he was looking at the sky and wondering what had happened.

Elle however was still in motion, after she'd thrown Martyn she'd used the power of the kick to then rock back forwards. Her core squeezed with the effort of pulling her torso up and her arms swung forwards to help with propelling her sit up. Her legs were quick to kick back under her and she was on her feet and turned to lock onto her prey with in seconds.

She readied for a pounce but her target was blocked.

Her blazing scowl lifted to the person who dared to step in her way. Or rather their boot.

"I said enough!" Levi barked at her. He planted a foot to her chest and shoved her back onto her arse before she could get her strike in.

"Where the fuck did you learn that!?" Martyn yelled, having finally recovered. He had yet to realise the Captain's presence, too busy with rolling onto his hands and knees. "You're shit at combat cla-" He couldn't finish his sentence.

The Captain had turned on him the moment he'd stilled Elle, swing an unforgiving foot under Martyn and booting him so hard in the gut he not only lost his words but what he'd recently had to drink.

Elle winced a little. She wasn't Martyn's biggest fan but she knew he didn't quiet deserve that.

Her eyes flicked back up to Levi with a frown, her lips parting ready to retort but the moment his eyes came back to her as he looked down her with that dark glare, she kept quiet.

"Get your shit off the horse." He ordered and Elle had to stay where she was for a minute; either in stun or confusion, she wasn't sure which.

"Sent packing already?" Niki commented with a smile, "Amazing!" A grin parted her lips but it didn't last long.

"The three of you!" Levi added to his order, "You can all carry your own shit and you can all walk!"


	8. Staggered Pace

**Staggered Pace**

Levi helpfully unhooked Martyn's belongings and let them crash to the floor.

Elle huffed as she stood and dusted her back side off before clapping her hands past one another to clear them. Her frowning eyes watched as Levi lead Martyn's horse over to his and fastened the animal to his saddle with a lead rope.

Next Elle looked to Niki and was surprised that the woman was doing as ordered; but by the look on her face she was seething over it. It was her own fault though, sure Martyn and Elle were being complete children but she was being a smart arse- she should have kept her mouth closed.

That was Niki's problem, she didn't like to be bested. The auburn haired woman liked to have an undermining authority; the kind where she would spar her words against higher ranks but get away with it. She was intimidating and persistent, and others were quick to learn the tussle for dominance wasn't worth the aggravation.

She hadn't won dominance today, and stupidly she still wasn't backing down.

Niki scowled at the Captain as she passed her horses reins with a sharp flick into his waiting palm and Levi carried on as if she wasn't even there. Her green eyes narrowed and lips formed a tight sneer; she was infuriated by the Captain's lack of response to her blatant attitude and show of disrespect.

Elle likened her to a toddler having a tantrum. In that moment Niki was fighting to get a rise out of the Captain; and he'd dealt her more damage by acting as if she wasn't even there.

The action was simplistic in how it showed Levi wouldn't fight her for dominance because he didn't need to- she was no threat to him.

Elle was simple in comparison and moved to accepted her punishment- _after_ passing Martyn another look of concern. He still hadn't recovered.

Without complaint she moved to her horse's side and silently worked at relieving the mare of the small amount of luggage. The bag tapped down gently as Elle placed it on the floor before she next took her water canister from the saddle bag. She knew she'd be needing it if they were walking. Suddenly her head spiked with pain and her vision blurred around the edges. It was a telling sign she should of already had something to drink.

Elle closed her eyes and braced herself, resting her arm on the mare for balance- dehydration was _not_ something she needed at this moment. She hung her head and lifted gentle fingers to her forehead. The large bump was tender, especially towards the hair line where her scalp had split from the force of the assault- but that wasn't the cause of her pain.

She'd suffered from a banging headache since she'd received the head-butt. It was a horrendous throbbing that had made her feel so woozy with pain she hadn't been able to eat the night before or that morning. Slowly it had faded to a constant and unfriendly ache that well hid the niggling pounding that came with not drinking enough- until it was too late.

"Everything alright?" she was asked but she wasn't sure who by.

She lifted her pounding head and turned away, "Fine!" She chirped out nonchalantly, while her eyes struggled to see through the growing blur in her vision. There was such a strong pulse behind her eyes she was sure they'd pop out.

Without wasting anymore time she opened up her canister and took a much needed drink. It'd be a while before she felt the benefit of the water but she accepted that and looked forward to when she'd feel better.

She sealed up her water and hung the canister around her neck for better access before she then picked up her bag and slung it over her shoulder. She turned back ready to start her walk but faltered at the sight of Levi.

It was him that had asked.

She gave a short thought to why he'd even care but then assured herself he probably didn't, "I can't place that look you're giving me," She stated honestly. "Concern?" She then asked him with a slight tilt of her head. He didn't answer. "Over my health or sanity?" She then quirked a brow and gave that meaningless smile of hers. He didn't clarify.

"Tch." Levi turned away from her. That cold smile sickened him, it was nothing more than an empty upward curl of her lips; it wasn't even worth the effort to force and he'd rather she not smile at all.

In silence the short male took her horse and wrangled it up with the other confiscated animals. Although no words passed his lips the look that came to his face spoke enough to have Elle feeling rather unsettled.

The irritation she'd been expecting. The loathing disgust she had not.

The three insubordinates waited until Levi was back in his saddle, but the man gave no more instruction. A simple kick and he had his horse moving, the others giving a whine of confusion as the tug forwards was their only indication to start walking.

The group all passed a glance to one another, looking as unsure as the their three horses had been to move- yet the animals got used to their new bonds and fell into line.

"Get up already, you idiot!" Niki clipped with a huff as she looked down at Martyn. She offered no help as she stepped past him. She was annoyed to be walking and no matter how she thought about it, there was just no chance of her being able to sneak her horse back- and it had nothing to do with how they were tied.

"Come on." Elle sighed. She extended a hand out to Martyn but he slapped her away with a scowl.

"I don't need your help!" He spat at her.

"Suit yourself." She replied with a shrug and moved after Niki.

Martyn struggled back on to his feet. He kept a hand over his sore abdomen and his posture was hunched to save his battered muscles the tension of the stretch. He was last to gather his stuff and follow after the group, his pace a little laboured from the assault.

The three fell into silence.

They kept a good pace as they walked, but also Levi rode a little slower considering he had three horses in tow.

Martyn's and Niki's horses were attached either side of his saddle and Elle's horse was strung up to Niki's. It gave the animals enough room to walk comfortably and stop them from getting tangled but their were times when Elle's mare would get too close to Niki's and the pair would have a moment of head flicking and protests.

The day dragged on and no one spoke, the three couldn't even be bothered to pass blame. Time proved a struggle to keep. No one knew how long they'd been walking for and Elle was sure that what ever their original destination was, they weren't going to reach it today.

Again Elle thought on the time they'd spent walking. Had it been hours or minutes? She honestly couldn't tell.

She'd started to lag behind the group with only her panting to keep her company. She was struggling. Heat climbed her neck and face as if she had suddenly leaned too close to a fire. Her world tilted a little and she was forced into a stagger to right her balance. "I don't feel too good." She uttered, catching the attention of Martyn and Niki.

The pair paused and looked back at her. They were both confused a moment as they watched her sway despite the steady stance she'd gotten herself into.

Elle put her arms out to help her balance but her view faded gradually and with it her balance worsened.

Martyn and Niki became more concerned as they watched her odd drunken stagger, "Elle?" They both called out to her simultaneously.

"Elle?" Their voices blended together and muddled till she was unsure who it was calling.

"Elle!" She couldn't place that voice.

"Elle!" Again that voice shouted out, but there was no worry in that tone. "Elle! Elliot!" They were calling. _She_ was calling.

"Damn it, Elliot, wait!" She shouted and finally the man she was shouting after turned back.

Curiosity was on his face, wondering why he was hearing his name. The answer came when he spotted the young woman throw her arm up in the air, waving for his attention. "Eloise?" He chirped in confusion and waited for her to catch up. "Lou, what are you doing?" He shook his head at her.

Heaving out deep breaths to collect herself after her run she then stood up and slapped his arm in a manner that was both annoyed and jesting, "You can't just disappear one morning to join the military!" she frowned. Hurt was clear on her face.

Elliot held his arm in response to the hit before he fully took in the expression on her face. With a deep sign he hung his head, "Lou," He breathed out in a sigh, "Please don't stop me!" He pleaded with her.

"I won't, so long as you don't choose the scouts!" She pressed.

"Eloise!" The older male groaned as he placed a hand to his face. It was obvious to see this was an argument they'd had over and over.

"Elle, _please_!" She desperately pleaded, "I'm begging you!" She reached out and gripped his sleeve, her kind eyes brimming with the tears she was failing to hold back. "Anything but the scouts!"

"I have to do this!" Elliot shook his head, "James doesn't have enough work for the both of us!" He tried his best to reason, "The money I make in the military I can use to help support you!"

"That doesn't mean you have to join the scouts!" upset and frustrated the tears started to flow down her youthful cheeks, "Please, _please_ , Elliot." She sobbed.

With a frustrated groan Elliot pulled his little sister into his arms, holding her tight to sooth her, "Damn it, Lou," He huffed. "Alright!" He surrendered.

Still she cried, "Elle?" She sniffled.

She didn't believe him.

"Elle?" Another voice was calling for him.

"Elle?!" There was urgency in their tone.

No. This wasn't a memory.

It was her they were calling for.

Her eyes shot opened to a lovely close up of mud. Confusion knotted her brow as she pushed herself up a little before realisation hit. She'd passed out.

A sudden surge of energy hit her and she sprung up, Martyn willing her to slow and take it easy while Niki could only look on in slight worry.

"Don't get up too fast!" Martyn frowned, watching as she sat back on her heels and looked about.

She felt oddly alert now and she wondered how long she was out for, but as she became more aware of her surroundings she also became more aware of the blinding headache that clustered behind her right eye.

"What happened?" She felt she had to ask. Things had gotten rather distant and disorientated and she guessed her migraine was to be thanked for that.

"Well, you just glazed over and completely ignored us," Martyn shrugged.

"Then you wandered towards Martyn and tried to touch his face," Niki added in, pointing helpfully towards the sandy haired male as if Elle wouldn't know who she was talking about. "Then you fell," The auburn haired woman shook her head, jabbing another point towards Martyn, "He caught you, then thought you were messing about so he just dropped you again."

"Thanks," Elle muttered with a frown. "How long was I out?"

"Literally seconds," Niki scoffed. Both Martyn and Elle were unsure if it was a sound of amusement or disappointment.

"We better get moving before the Captain reali-"

"What are you three idiots doing!?" Levi's voice called loudly in irritation, interrupting Martyn. He was answered instantly by all three at once. Their voices and excuses muddling together but he'd managed to catch them all.

Niki shouted back that Elle had tripped.

Elle shouted they were taking a break.

Martyn shouted he was tying his shoe.

"Your boots don't have laces you fucking idiot!" Niki hissed at Martyn.

"Fuck sake, Martyn." Elle sighed.

"Fuck sake _me_?!" He asked incredulously, "Fuck sake _you_!" He corrected, looking Elle up and down before he stood. "She fainted like a princess!" He then called to the Captain while pointing at Elle still sat on the ground.

"What a dick." Niki commented as she passed Martyn a sly eye.

Elle used his height to her advantage and swatted him right in the crotch, causing him to crumple to the floor with a cry while Niki laughed at his expense. "I'm fine!" Elle then declared as she stood up, albeit a little too quickly but she held her own.

Levi's sharp gaze cut them as he regarded going over to address them. Martyn looked guilty as sin as he staggered back up, Elle _had_ been suspiciously sat on the ground, and Niki needed that disrespectful attitude slapped off her face- his decision was made and he stood in the saddle and swung a leg over as he dismounted.

Elle ignored his existence. She didn't want to focus of him nor did she want to focus on that memory of her brother. Yet each of their faces came to mind the more she tried to ignore the other.

Her stomach flipped when she noticed the Captain's calm approach and her throat tightened with each step he took closer. She felt like prey. Her basic instincts were kicking in, her flight or fight response trying to come to the rescue.

She looked about. There was no where to run too. She noted the few trees to her right but Levi could, and probably would, take her down before she got off the road.

Fight? That was a big no. She'd heard enough through the grape vine to never want to try that.

In a futile attempt to keep ignoring him she chose to distract herself. Elle went straight for the water canister around her neck and pawed at the cap. She struggled with the lid, her mind growing as scattered as her hands were shaking but once she had it she brought the item to her lips and threw her head back.

Elle downed as much water as she could before she had to breath again. She lowered the canister with a gasp and dabbed her lips dry with the back of her hand. Again her stomach flipped and she paused. Her brows knotted and a look of concentration came to her face. She didn't feel right and she knew instantly she shouldn't of tried to down so much water.

Her mouth grew dry and a sweat came to her brow. She swallowed slowly but it only emphasized how much her throat had closed in on her and it was almost suffocating. The contents of her stomach churned, willing it's way back up but she forced herself to stay calm in the hopes it would settle.

Breathe. She thought to keep herself calm. If she could just breathe through the sickly feeling she knew it would pass and she was doing well till she looked up and met the Captain's gaze.

Her stomach flipped and she both calmly and silently turned and walked away.

She kept the back of her hand to her mouth as a last defence. Her pace quickening till she came to the edge of the road.

"Elle?" Martyn asked slowly. He thought she'd gone into that blank mode again and was about to pass out, but no. She heaved forwards with a retch and the fluid she'd just chugged down poured out with horrendous but impressive speed and strength. " _Ew, fuck_!" Martyn hollerred in shock and disgust, jumping away a little and looking to her with a wide eyed cringe. "You alright?" He then asked stupidly.

Niki and Levi didn't quite have the prime view Martyn did, but the sound and his reaction was enough to know what had happened.

Niki's brows rose, she couldn't help but think her friend was having some tough luck as of late. Then she met eyes with the Captain. She couldn't stop herself- "Don't take it personally, I want to heave when I look at you too." She pressed a sickly sweet smile to her lips that perfectly matched the falseness of her chipper tone.

Levi turned on her.

It was sudden and too quick for Niki to comprehend let alone react. By the time she'd felt his hand on her shoulder pushing her balance back, his leg had already kicked her feet from under her in a wonderfully clean sweep.

The back of her head cracked to the ground and she was lucky the floor wasn't stone or she'd probably be unconscious. Her wide eyes stared up at the sky in shock and her lips parted as she tried for a gasp of air but her winded lungs had yet to recover.

He left her there and looked over to where Martyn was awkwardly trying to assist Elle.

"Do you need help?" The sandy brown haired male questioned as he watched the woman cough and sputter. She was unable to answer and so he reached out to place a hand on her back to rub soothing circles.

Elle wanted to scream at him not to touch her, but she was struggling with how violently her stomach was pumping and could only wait in horror for the dreaded back rub.

The Captain cleared the distance between them effortlessly despite his shorter strides and slapped Martyn's hand away with a stinging backhand before he could touch Elle. "Leave her!" He ordered harshly.

Martyn withered away both from the tone and the hit, stepping back a few paces before Niki's wheezed breath caught his attention and he looked to her crumpled form in surprise. Guess they all had a rather shit run.

A thought then came to him, yes Elle was in a state but it wasn't Levi that put her there, not like how he just had with Niki or himself earlier. Perhaps now was her time? He wondered as he glanced back over.

Elle had calmed enough to hobble further away from the group. She forced deep breaths as if it would still her sickness like it would recover her body from exercise. The water canister she had managed to keep in a tight clamp while her other hand had been raked through her hair in an attempt to keep the locks free of her face.

She took shaky sips of water. Small amounts this time so her stomach could handle it but she didn't leave enough pause between her sips and her insides were unhappy with it. She dropped her canister to support herself on the tree she'd come to, her body forcing out what she'd just drank with another heave.

Martyn and Levi watched at a distance. It looked like Elle was receiving a punch to the gut with how she lurched forwards with each retch and heave. It was painful to watch.

Martyn glanced back towards the Captain. He wasn't doing anything and the younger male was confused by this. He wasn't going to help nor was he going to shout at her?

He lifted a hand to his sandy hair and pushed his fingers through. He had never been fussed on either Niki or Elle before, but he _was_ a bit of a worrier, it was just a part of his nature; as much as he hated to admit it. He was worried that Niki would keep pissing the Captain off and he was worried Elle would get on the Captain's last nerve if she didn't sober up quickly. Sure they weren't the right things to be worrying about, but they were points that could cause the Captain to have a foul mood and then Martyn would be subjected to that.

"S-should I go help her?" Martyn then asked. He hoped if he could try and sort the situation it may improve the Captain's mood.

"She doesn't want help." Levi's eyes didn't leave Elle, he watched her in the distance as she stood up a little straighter and seemed to calm before hunching back over again. He was sure she was dry heaving by now.

"Really, how do you know?" Martyn couldn't help the disbelief in his tone.

Levi tilted his head to shoot a simple look of annoyance up at Martyn, he didn't want to be having small talk with him, "It's obvious." He stated because to him it was; but then he knew she didn't like to be touched when she was sick. It was a tiny comfort that something about her hadn't changed.

Martyn found it odd the Captain would assume how she felt when he didn't know her. "I'm pretty sure she was crying," He mumbled, seeming as if he was going to continue but Levi's scoff stopped him.

"Tch." He looked away from the younger male. The light haired man knew nothing and that wasn't his fault, but it was still annoying. Levi however wasn't going to reassure him by saying how Elle's eyes watered when she was sick, in fact her whole face tended to stream- it was no wonder she wanted to be left alone. No. That would be seen as an odd thing for him to know.

With a sigh Levi lifted a hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. His eyes closed and brows knotted. What was this situation he'd found himself in?

"I guess I'll go help the other disaster." Martyn uttered under his breath. He felt awkward and needed something to do.

Levi's eyes flashed open with such a deadly look it caused Martyn to flinch. What he'd just said had obviously pissed the Captain off, but why? Did he not want him to help Niki? Was it because he referred to them as disasters?

No, that would be weird. You'd have to be somewhat familiar _and_ friendly with someone to get offended on their behalf.

"If you want to make yourself useful, go fetch my water!" Levi barked at the younger male.

Instantly Martyn gulped but did as he was told.

When he returned there was no thanks from the Captain as he snatched away the water canister and shot the sandy haired male a frown before he strode towards Elle.

He'd had enough.


	9. Sickness

**Sickness**

"Disgusting!" The word just slipped out after he watched the string of saliva finally break after the woman brought her hand far enough away from her lips. With a whimpered groan she then rubbed her hand clean in the grass and stayed there on her knees to brace against another gag.

With another strong heave Elle coughed out bile, it was sour and felt like it burnt her brain as it made it's way out through both her nose and mouth. Her hair slipped from behind her ear as she spat to clear her mouth and with nothing on hand to clear her nose she could only use her bare hand to pinch her nose and wipe away the excess.

Again she dragged her fingers over the grass in an attempt to cleanse her hand before reaching up to tuck her hair back away. "Tch." Levi scoffed as he swiftly batted her grubby paw away with a back hand, "Your hand is filthy!" he scolded her.

Elle gave a grumble in dismay, she felt bad enough with out _him_ glowering over her, judging. "I've probably already got sick in my hair away way." She uttered, her tone defeated and laced with pain.

"You may be fine with the stench-" Levi started as he placed the water canister down to free his hands, "-But I'd rather not smell it!" His words were a sharp stab to her self-esteem- no one liked to smell bad after all.

Elle was distracted as her abdomen gave another painful contraction and forced her to retch but nothing came up. Her eyes watered some more but she was glad for the moments peace to breathe; but that was broken as she felt her hair shift with a soft tug, "Don't touch me!" She all but wailed.

"Calm down." Levi droned, his tone flat but face annoyed as he gathered her hair and worked it into a twist to bind the locks together. With nothing to tie her hair back, he hooked a finger into the collar of her top to pull it away from the back of her neck and threw the twist of hair down her back to keep it out the way. "Here!" His blank tone remained the same as he picked up the water canister and thrust it towards her.

"Thanks." Elle grumbled as she accepted it and he stood. She fumbled with the cap and used her first swig to rinse her mouth before she took a drink. No, she didn't feel right. She hunched over in preparation for another retch.

"You have nothing else to bring up!" Levi scolded her. Her vomit was all liquid and other than the stark yellow of the bile it was clear she'd had nothing to eat. He stepped behind her, gripped her by the shoulders and forced her to sit up, "You're just dry heaving because it's all your stomach knows!" He advised, strengthening his hold as she tried to lurch forwards and instead further pulled her back against his legs so she stayed upright. "Breathe through it!" He ordered her.

Elle quivered against the need to keep heaving and the pain from all that her stomach had pumped. Desperately she gasped for breath and forced her body to keep tense, disciplining it until her stomach gave up it's assault.

Levi could feel her struggle but gave no comfort nor further instruction. Her throwing up was not something he was worried about, her general lack of self care rose some concern however. She'd run herself down badly before by not taking proper care of herself and in that moment he remembered it quite vividly.

* * *

The door flew open with an eager energy as the tall, smiling man swung into the house, "I'm home!" He called as he stepped in and held the door for his less energetic friend.

Eloise jolted awake in shock from where she'd dozed off in the chair. The warmth of the fire had easily lulled her tired, sick body to sleep. "Elliot?" She spoke in a groggy surprise, "I didn't think you'd be round so early!" She struggled to force a smile. Her skin was pale and had a visible gloss from the cold sweat that had taken over her entire body.

"Eloise, it's mid afternoon!" Elliot stated with a shake of his head.

"Is it!?" She perked with shock. She looked to her brother's comrade, Levi, for the truth but only saw a mixed look of concern and confusion on his face.

She hadn't gotten up to greet them as she usually did nor start to potter about and fuss, "Are you alright?" Her brother asked. He came to her just as she was pushing herself back up into a proper sit and now he was closer he could see she didn't look well. He pushed the back of his hand to her forehead and a frown creased his brows, "You're burning up!" He worried.

Eloise gave a soft sigh as she tugged the blankets tighter around her body- she felt cold. "I _am_ sat next to the fire, Elliot," She gently pushed his hand away.

A slim brow flicked up on Levi's face as he looked to the fire place. It had gone out some time ago by the look of the few fading embers. "You _were_." The short male corrected.

"ELOISE!" A shrill voice called. The three knew who it was before he came bursting in, "The doctor won't be able to see you till next week!" He huffed in panic.

"I'll be better by then, don't worry, Sam." She waved the matter away.

"Elliot!" The youngster near cried in relief, "Eloise needs to see a doctor before it's too late!" He panicked.

Shock flew to the older brother's face as he looked from his sister and to the young, freckled boy, "What's wrong with her!?" Elliot joined in with the panic.

Eloise hung her head with a groan, "It's just a stomach bug!" She tried to reassure.

"No!" Sam countered with a furious shake of his head, "A lady where I live had the same thing and she died!"

"It's not the same thing!" Eloise tried to speak up, an annoyed frown settling on her face.

"How long has she been like this?" Elliot questioned Sam, completely ignoring her.

"Days!" The youngster dramatised.

"Will the pair of you shut up!" She found the strength to shout and they both jumped and looked back to her, "If you _want_ to be useful, go out side and get some fire wood so I don't have to!" She ordered them in a barking tone and luckily for her they both did as she demanded.

Eloise sat back in the chair with a pained sigh, "I'm sorry, Levi," She spoke softly, "I'd offer you a drink but I don't have the energy."

Levi turned from where he'd been looking at the large stack of firewood already present in the house and to her. "It's more important you rest." He stated as he uncrossed his arms and walked towards her. Wordlessly he grabbed some of the wood from the basket next to the fire place and tossed them down before crouching to re-light the fire.

Eloise watched him for a moment, she studied his profile and as usual the stoic expression gave nothing away, "How are you feeling about this expedition?" She whispered.

Levi paused as he allowed the small flame he'd created the chance to grow. "No different from the others." He stated.

Eloise knew he'd be indifferent but she felt unsettled, more so than she had done before, "Do you _have_ to go on this one?" She then pried.

Levi used a bit of wood to push the flame further into the fire place and towards the larger bits of wood he'd thrown down. "You want Elliot to stay." He was to the point, no question in his tone.

"I want you both to stay," She corrected him, "I don't feel right, I feel like something awful is going to happen." She brought her bottom lip into her mouth, biting down gently to still it's quivering.

Levi placed the wood he was holding to one side, he wouldn't add it to the fire just yet, it'd only suffocate the small flame. "Something always happens." He then looked to her as he stood.

"I know," She sighed, "But I just have this really bad feeling." She gripped her blanket tighter around herself as she gave a gentle shake of her head. Her face was etched with a deep fear but also it was begging with him to not only understand but to believe her.

Elliot came crashing back into the house, dropping wood as he went which forced the young Sam to pick them up after him.

"Don't make a mess!" Eloise scolded as she stood. Her limbs felt heavy but she forced them to move.

"Sit back down!" Elliot scowled in outrage, dropping more wood as he pointed aggressively to the chair.

Eloise's face had glazed over in dread and with a sudden burst of movement she threw herself over to the sink just in time to throw up.

"Lou!" Sam wailed in worry. The youngster dropped what he was doing and rushed over to her side instantly. He placed a hand to her back and smoothed big soothing circles- or so he thought.

The woman flinched away from his touch as if she'd been burnt, "No, don't touch me!" She wailed as if in pain.

Elliot awkwardly set the rest of the wood down and came to his sister's side, "She doesn't like to be touched when she's throwing up," He explained to the younger lad as he shooed him back, "The motion makes her feel worse." Elliot passed him a smile to show him not to worry before giving his sister his full attention.

Silently he pulled all her hair back despite her whimpering protests and fixed her locks in to a plait. He took the ribbon she'd given him as a charm off his wrist with his teeth and used it to secure her hair before he then left her to it.

Silence quickly filled the home- apart from Eloise's echoed panting from where her head was hanging in the sink- and so Levi spoke up to break it. "I'm going back to the garrison," he said as he started to leave and Elliot and Sam could only watch him go, confusion on their faces, "I'll bring back one of the medics." He finished as he walked out the door and closed it behind him, leaving little room for argument.

.

Eloise had dropped off into a good sleep after the military doctor had left, but she still felt groggy when she stirred a few hours later.

She peeked her eyes open and gave a few blinks in hopes it would fix her focus. Next she dragged a heavy hand from under the covers to place to her head but was distracted by the damp cloth folded there.

She pulled the warm swatch of cloth from her clammy head and blindly fumbled with setting it on her bedside table, she then worked at sitting herself up. It was a monumental effort, her head not only felt heavy but twice the size and balancing on a weak neck. It was an odd feeling.

"You should still be resting." His tone was calm and even. No onslaught of frantic emotions or panic and no berating attitude- _yet_.

"Levi?" She was surprised to find the blurred figure sat at her bed side had focused to reveal him. "Where's Elliot?" She then questioned before a look of apology came to her face, "He hasn't forced you to stay here has he?" She asked with a dread for the answer.

Levi shook his head, "No." He answered simply and the pair fell into silence.

Levi watched the look of confusion that came over her youthful features, she was working though possible answers to where her brother was and he was about to give her the information but her actions forced him to pause.

Eloise gripped her bed sheet and pulled it off as she made a move to get out of bed. Levi's boot slammed down hard from where he'd uncrossed his legs so fast and stood in her way, "What do you think you're doing?" He'd asked a question but it seemed more like a scolding as he glowered down at her.

She could only peek up at him, feeling oddly guilty when she hadn't really done anything wrong, "Getting a drink?" She offered as her excuse. She _was_ thirsty.

His eyes narrowed at her, "Get back in bed!" He clipped. Glaring until she did as he demanded.

Eloise couldn't say much about his nursing techniques, but he was attentive enough to already have a jug of water and a cup ready. "Thank you," She spoke softly once he handed her a cup and she took a few dainty sips.

"Unless you're ready to eat, I suggest you lay back down and rest." He flicked a brow up at her after she'd placed the cup on her bedside table.

"I can't stomach the thought of food," She whined as she slunk back into her bed and pulled her covers back over herself only to feel a sweltering heat build up under the fabric. She pushed the sheets back down with a suffocated gasp, feeling the relief of the cool air after she'd done so.

"That's not how this works." Levi spoke down at her. He was an intimidating character already but having him tower over her for once was quite frightening.

Levi gripped the sheets she'd just pushed off herself and flung them back over her, covering her whole. Eloise gave a small mewled scream in surprise and pulled the fabrics from her face only to have them become incredibly tight and heavy.

Levi had gripped them too and held them in place over her, "If you want to get better, you have to sweat it out!" He told her and only when he saw she had backed down did he release her.

Eloise lay still frowning at the ceiling, she felt horrible and the waves of heat her body was giving off was torturous, "Thank you for bringing one of your military doctors, he was very nice," She spoke quietly. Hopefully the conversation would distract from the sensation of being cooked alive in her bed.

"He said you'd be fine in a few days." Levi stated and she nodded. He'd told her the same thing and it was nothing she didn't already know.

Young Sam was a terrible worrier, she though, and a fluster too.

Eloise's drowsy eyes brightened with a sudden alertness as a wonderfully cold cloth was placed to her forehead and she watched as Levi retook his seat.

Perhaps he would make a good nurse, she mused, her small smile hidden in the sheets tucked around her chin.

Silence fell for a while before Levi broke it, "Elliot won't be going on the expedition."

Again her eyes flung open, she was alert and staring in wide eyed surprise at the ceiling. Had she heard right? "What?" She questioned, springing to sit bolt upright with such a new found energy that it threw the wet cloth from her forehead.

"Tch!" He scoffed at her reaction, "Damn it you brat! Lie down!" He stood and shoved her back down onto the mattress, flinging the sheets back over her and pinning her with them.

"Why?" She mumbled, slightly gagged from having the sheets over her mouth and chin.

"So he can look after you." He answered, picking the cloth up from where it landed and nearly slapping it back on her forehead, "You dare get up again!" He threatened with a point and she stilled instantly.

She lay still, thinking about his answer, "But I'm not that ill?" She was confused.

She didn't see the nod of agreement Levi gave. "I spoke to some of the officers about the situation and suggested he stay behind, he'd only be distracted if he went-"

Eloise jumped in, interrupting, "But when he speaks to the doctor and finds out I'm not that ill-"  
"I've convinced the doctor to say otherwise, as far as everyone else is concerned you're very sick and Elliot would be a danger to himself and others worrying about you." Levi returned the favour and cut her off in favour of a quick explanation.

Silence fell again and she lay there in her confusion. She was struggling to wrap her head around what was happening, "Why?" Eloise fixed her asking eyes on her brother's friend.

Levi reclined back in the chair and crossed his arms, "You didn't want him going right?" He flicked a brow up at her. He could tell she was deeply worried about Elliot going on this expedition and of all the times he'd see her, never had he seen such a haunted expression on her face as when she was asking earlier that day.

A delightful relief washed over her, freeing her chest of the weight of worry. "What about you? Are you staying too?" She looked over with a hopeful expression.

"No. I have no reason not to go." The stoic expression on his face and the calm truth in his tone hurt and in that instant the weight of worry came crashing back onto her chest so heavily Eloise felt as if her sternum may break.

She thought on his words for a long while, and struggled against the lull of sleep, "I can think of some reasons for you!" She finally mumbled, her tone sounding hopeful even through her drowsy haze.

Levi looked to her, his expression softening. She was tucked up rather snugly in her bed sheets and the swatch of cloth on her forehead seemed to swamp her. He could tell she was fighting against sleep with how her eyes drooped and lids seemed to struggle to open. "Go to sleep." He ordered her softly.

"Promise you'll come back safe," She uttered in a sleepy slur and Levi sighed. "Promise and shake on it!" She pressed, shuffling an arm out from under her sheet and holding a limp hand out.

He shouldn't be making these promises but it wasn't something new for Eloise to ask, the only difference was she was asking only for him this time and not Elliot. "Alright." He took her clammy hand.

A smile came to her face from the relief his agreement brought. "Don't fall asleep in the chair, it's bad for your neck!" Were her fading words as she finally allowed herself to drop back off to sleep.

* * *

Eloise- she was a spirited character, kind, and undeniably passionate. She coped well on her own when her brother was away and was welcoming to who ever he dragged back to stay at the house; which was a far better comfort that the garrison thanks to the attention Eloise would put into caring for her guests.

She was sturdy but she wasn't unbreakable. Levi saw it every time she'd give her brother a hug before he left for the wall. In her eyes it was as if everything turned against her and it was only her determination to save face for Elliot's sake that would pull her through the dire need to break down each time.

Things were different now.

Eloise was different.

"Are you done?" Levi clipped down at her. A slim brow twitched in annoyance as his words brought no movement or answer from the woman.

Elle remained in a slump, half hugging the tree she was sat by in order to keep herself anchored.

"Oi!" He lifted a foot and nudged her with the toe of his boot.

"No! Don't move me!" She protested in a drowsy slur as she clung tighter to the tree, "I'll be fine after a sleep, just leave me here!"

"Not. Happening." He clipped at her. "Get up now before I drag you up!"

Reluctantly her limbs were forced to move and she used the tree to claw her way up on to her feet again. Elle felt dizzy and the day light was an assault on her eyes that were struggling enough as it was to see beyond the blinding pain beating around her skull. "Can I keep the water?" She asked as she clutched the water canister he'd given her. She'd emptied hers by drinking it then throwing it back up and finished off the rest by dropping it.

Levi narrowed his gaze at her. Again Elle wasn't looking at him as she spoke, but he was quick to notice it wasn't something she was doing on purpose this time. She gave a hard blink to try and focus her eyes while her brows came together in a concentrated frown.

The Captain parted his lips ready to speak but Elle staggered back in a loss of balance. Had it not been for some impressive reflexes on her part she would have ended up in her own pile of sick. Elle used the tree for support once more and Levi gave her one last blank look before he turned and walked away from her.

Martyn was still reluctantly tending to Niki when Levi strode past him. "When you're done with that mess," Levi spoke in indication to Niki, "Go sort the other."

Martyn looked from the Captain and to Niki, who'd been forcing her incessant bitching and whining onto him, and finally over to where Elle was hugging a tree. "What the fuck?" Martyn breathed out.

He really despised the fact that it was the two women before him that had helped get him to safety on their last expedition. He should have been thankful, that he knew, but it was also because of them that he was now here.

He wanted to turn around and say how he shouldn't be considered for the elites because what had happened on the last expedition was not him. He wanted to drop both Niki and Elle and all the unwanted responsibilities they ended up forcing upon him.

"This is not worth the hassle." Martyn grumbled to himself as he passed an irritated look between the two women.


	10. One Answer

**One Answer**

Martyn and Niki stood in an empty stall of the stable. Both where at a reclined lean at opposite ends as they glared at one another, "This is shit!" Martyn huffed, being the first to look away.

"You think I'm happy about this!?" The auburn haired beauty countered.

"How can there be no rooms left?" The male continued. He found the whole ordeal stupid and if Elle hadn't already been despised by him before, she bloody well was now. Their travel was halted because of the idiot woman.

Elle had managed to run herself down into such a state that they were making next to no head way and had to stop for the night. To add to the annoyance, the small village inn they'd stopped in had no vacant rooms to accommodate them all; surprising considering the fact the village was small and couldn't have had many travellers passing through.

"Be thankful they're still offering you food in the morning!" Came the Captain's clipped tone and the two jumped to stand upright. Levi passed them both a sharp look as he threw down two blankets and strode off as smoothly as he'd appeared.

The inn keeper was waiting for the Captain when he arrived back. She was a short and plump woman with worried look on her kind face. "Are you sure they would not like a room?" She asked again.

"No, they have a duty to watch the horses." Was Levi's excuse. He doubted the woman would accept the dismissive 'fuck them' he wanted to say.

A great sigh of irritation deflated his chest once he was finally able to throw himself down on a chair. He placed an elbow on the arm rest and cradled his head in his hand. He needed this moment of peace as he kneaded his finger tips into his forehead to try and release the stress.

"Can I get you anything?" The elder woman then offered, if a little timid.

Levi politely declined her. It was late and the woman had done enough with setting them up last minute and seeing to Elle.

He moved his hand down and pinched the bridge of his nose as he closed his eyes. It had been a ridiculously tiresome day.

Had Levi not already known one member of the group be would have flat out refused the suggested members; he could tell from looking at them that they were going to be difficult and therefore not worth the time or effort it would take to shape them up. Martyn and Niki he had absolutely no interest in but he couldn't just pick out Elle to take- no matter how much he wanted to shake answers out of her.

Elle- the thought of the woman alone caused a frown to crease his brow. There was an unreasonable amount of questions rolling around his head and concern too.

His time to question her will come soon, she couldn't avoid it no more than she could avoid him, but for the time being her questionable approach to her own health was something that would need addressing first.

Levi thought back. Elle had arrived late to the mess hall the night before and instead of getting food she'd gotten herself into trouble. Levi didn't know the relationship or history between her and the brawny Hawthorn but it didn't seem anyone was overly surprised by what had happened. This morning he hadn't seen her in the mess hall for breakfast and he hadn't noticed her eat any of their rations during their ride.

She was now asleep and knowing her slow recovery rate after throwing up she wouldn't be up for food until well into the next day.

Again Levi sighed in annoyance, he had to make sure she at least took in some fluids. Her attempt at drinking during their journey to the inn was rather pitiful and it just looked like she was slumped in the saddle dribbling every so often. She was so scorned from her previous attempts at trying to ingest water that she became a bit frightful of upsetting her stomach if she drank too much or too fast and ended up throwing up again.

* * *

Elle woke in a groggy haze. Her head was still homing a stubborn headache but her stomach felt much more settled. She sat up and pushed her mess of hair from her face and peered around the dark room in search of the door.

Her mouth was awfully dry and it left a tacky feeling in her mouth that prevented her from feeling comfortable. She needed a drink.

Quietly she slipped out of bed and padded across the dark room to where the door had slowly shown it's self once her eyes had adjusted to the darkness. It gave a quiet creek as she opened it and her bare feet made little sound as she wandered her way down the hall.

She could only find her way thanks to the soft glow from the small oil lamp that had been left on by the stair case and once she reached there she carefully made her way down. She could see a few doors but only one had some light creeping out from under it and so she assumed this to be the common room where she'd more than likely find either a drink or someone who could find her one.

She pushed the door open and before she could take a proper look about she spotted the Captain and froze.

He was sat in an arm chair by the fire with one leg slung over the left arm rest while he propped an elbow up on the right to support his head in his hand, and she watched and waited for him to either move or say something.

Nothing.

Elle relaxed a little and shifted more into the room, she got herself into a better position to see him and her suspicions were confirmed. He was asleep.

She wondered why he hadn't gone to his room to sleep but the thought of him staying on guard to catch out either Martyn, Niki, or herself came to mind. She shook her head and cleared the thoughts from her mind, but the surprise of him still sleeping in chairs remained.

It had always boggled her how he could sleep in _any_ chair, but at least this one looked like it had a bit more comfort.

She was about to creep back out the room when she noticed the papers in his left hand and curiosity had her wondering what they were. She only inched close enough to be able to tell what the document was rather than see the details of it, but she saw enough.

They were her papers. Her length of service, her skill gradings, her rank- everything to do with her service in the Scouts- it couldn't be a good sign.

She backed off. Levi was on the hunt for information already that was not something she was feeling great about. She was anxious over any other emotion, but that was because she knew the truth would come out.

Elle had just reached the door and thought herself safe too soon. " _What_ are you doing?" Levi's calm yet unimpressed voice paused her and she looked back to him in alarm.

He didn't appear to have moved and she was about to pass it off as her imagination till she noticed that from beneath his midnight curtain of hair, the glint of the fire was catching in his eyes.

"What are _you_ doing?" She questioned back to counter him.

He lifted his head and threw her a look of annoyance, "You should be resting or you'll get worse!" He clipped.

Elle lifted her shoulders in a limp looking shrug, "You shouldn't be sleeping in chairs, it's bad for your neck!"

Silence filled the room and they stared at one another in a stale mate. Elle was waiting for him to give a snappy retort, but Levi was some what relieved by the familiar scolding.

Elle swiped her sticky feeling tongue over her dry lips as she looked away, his eyes were intense- more so than she was used to and far more than she remembered.

She could hear the shuffle of movement before the soft thud of his boot hitting the floor sounded as he stood, "Sit!" He ordered simply and calmly and she glanced his way. He was stood with a directing hand motioning to the chair he'd just been sitting on.

"I only came to get a drink." She shook her head, as a look of concern came to her face. She didn't know what was going to happen or what was going to be said.

Levi narrowed his gaze at her resistance to his order and raised a single brow up in a dare for her to challenge him on the matter again.

Elle lowered her head with a soft sigh and walked over, she avoided his gaze but was well aware of his sharp, studying eyes on her. Her throat grew clammy and her mind whirled to try and prepare herself but all she could do was inwardly panic. She wasn't ready, she didn't know what she wanted to say or how she wanted to say it. Everything she'd ignored and buried away had now left her with no plan on how to express or word anything.

It was why she'd always avoided him. Why she always went unnoticed- because she wasn't ready to talk.

She'd never allowed herself the time to be ready.

"I don't want to do this-" She breathed in a whisper as her worried eyes frowned at the fire place.

Levi studied her profile, she held up and brave face- she always had, but there was that familiar look of horror on her eyes. She always had it from where she'd work herself up into a frenzy from over thinking, and Levi thought in that moment that Eloise could hide all she wanted behind that empty smile, but no matter what she'd done, where she'd been, or how much she denied it, she was still there- this he was sure of.

"Sit!" He repeated and he watched as she lowered herself to perch on the edge of the chair before he then turned and walked off, leaving her to stew in worry.

Elle watched as he left and her eyes stayed on the door in wait for his return. She felt like an obedient dog. With a slight frown she looked back to the fire and took a calming breath. She needed to relax. She could come up with endless things Levi might say or ask and she knew it was pointless to be worrying.

Her best bet was to stay calm and stay quiet. Even if he pried for answers now she didn't have to give any, and it would only give her the knowledge of what he wanted to know and she'd then have the time to comprise what ever it was she wanted to give as an answer- when she _was_ ready.

Elle gave another sigh and lifted a hand to her face- it had been a long time since she felt this way. She couldn't remember the last time she cried but every time she looked at Levi she felt an overwhelming need too.

Over the years Elle had changed drastically and the events in her life had ground down her heart and emotions till she became nothing more than this shell of a person yet one studying look from the Captain threatened the integrity of all the walls she'd put up.

"Here!" His voice startled her and she jolted with shock before turning her wide eyes up at him. She hadn't heard him come back in and that wasn't like her.

She looked from him and to the cup he was holding out to her, "Thanks." She spoke softly and took it.

Elle looked at the cup of water while Levi took a step back. He leaned against the fire place and watched as she expertly avoided his eyes again before he lifted the papers he was still holding and let his eyes glance back over the information they held. "Your start date, it is true?" he started, "Have you been in the survey corps for this long?" He caught her slight shift of movement as she peered up at him and he flicked his gaze to catch hers.

Elle stayed quiet, instead lifting the cup to her lips and taking a slow drink as she let her gaze wander off to the side.

"Answer me, Eloise!" He barked and she froze. "Your personal documents are forged, so you better tell me what is true or not on the rest of them!"

A frown came to her face as she battled with herself over what her answer would be, or if she should even give an answer. It was a harmless question- or so _she_ thought. "My start date is true." She answered, but from Levi's scoff of disgust it was the wrong answer.

"Tch!" He turned to look away from her sharply as a deep scowl formed on his face. He was furious and disgusted that she'd been in service for so long, but he was furious and disgusted with himself that he'd never noticed her in all those years- she'd served longer than her brother had, and she had survived with out help. "Why!?" He flashed a deadly look down at her and she glanced up at him with a confused frown.

"Why, what?" She shook her head. There were a lot of whys he could be asking but he needed to specific if he expected an answer from her.

Why did you join?

Why did you hide?

Why for so long?

Why didn't you come to me?

Levi couldn't choose and so he turned away from her again. "If it wasn't for this transfer I would still never know you were here, would I?" Only his eyes flashed back to watch her from under his dark hair.

She bowed her head, she wanted to deny that. Part of her had always wanted to come forwards but a bigger part of her was scared to and the longer she left it the more that side suppressed her until it was second nature to hide and avoid getting noticed. "If it makes you feel better I _did_ want to come forward but I just didn't know how." She kept her eyes down but lifted her shoulders up in a shrug.

"Make me feel better?" He near growled as he rounded on her. "I thought you were fucking dead!" The harshness of his tone forced her to slink back in the chair to create some distance from him. "A note to say you were still alive would have made me feel better!"

She looked up to him with a soft frown, "I didn't think you'd come back to the house after Elliot passed, but just because it had burnt down didn't necessarily mean I was dead." She shook her head, it was a misunderstanding, "-But maybe it would have been better if I-"

"Shut up!" He interrupted and she pursed her lips.

Silence settled again and Elle peered into her cup of water as she thought. "I honestly never thought you'd come, and I didn't expect you too," She sighed, "But I hoped you would because I didn't know what to do with myself!" A short, humourless laugh breezed past her lips as she bowed head, "-pathetic really." She commented to herself.

A deep sigh deflated Levi's chest as he watched her, "What happened?" he asked, calmer this time. He was answered with silence as Elle took another drink instead, reigniting his impatience. "I thought you were dead because a body was found- So _what_ happened?" He pressed in a clipped tone.

Elle froze. Fear and guilt coursed through every fibre of her being and she could only stare at the flames dancing about the fire place in horror. It had taken her so long to push away what had happened, dull the memory and move on, but now it came flooding back; and in such painful detail.

* * *

-Eloise was exhausted in every way imaginable but the moment the older male raised his voice and swung his arm out to clear the table top of the jug and cups that rested there, a surge of energy found her.

She sprung out of her chair and onto her feet, her body alive with the fright the action and noise had caused and her eyes were wide and alert. Terror filled her as the man she thought she knew turned into a stranger before her eyes.

James, he was an old friend of the family and he had helped her so much in giving her work and allowing her the chance to support herself. She had always thought of him as a pillar of strength, someone she could trust and turn too, but after Elliot's passing things changed.

James' true nature and intentions had been held at bay purely because of Elliot's existence, and neither she nor her brother realised at the time.

"Don't you dare fucking tell me what to do!" James bellowed at her and she instantly held her hands up in a defenceless surrender. He was drunk and had been slurring confusing nonsense at her and she'd told him to drink some water- that was all she'd done.

Tears sprung to her eyes, they were a familiar companion to her now as it was all she'd been able to do. "I'm not!" She chirped in fear as she backed away and positioned herself so the large wooden table was between them. It was not a barrier that made her feel safe though.

Never had she seen such deranged anger on his face before, she was used to his smile. He always had a soft, doting look when ever she caught his eye and she'd always thought him to be incapable of any emotion that wasn't loving. Even Elliot thought James to be nothing but kind, there was only one person Eloise knew of that didn't like or trust James, and that was Levi.

Suddenly all of Levi's distrust and suspicions were valid and Eloise was mortified she hadn't taken his words of warning more seriously. He'd tried to make her aware of what it was he saw and she'd given him the biggest eye roll she could muster, she thought Levi couldn't be more wrong. Levi couldn't sway her thoughts on James and he couldn't make her realise how deeply and seriously he felt over the matter either, not even when he placed a blade in her hand and told her she needed to learn how to defend herself.

"After all I've done for you!" James continued to rage as he slammed his hands down onto the table to then grip it.

Eloise teetered back on jittery legs as the man lifted the table enough to be able to flip it out his way and come for her.

Her body jolted into movement and she threw her self towards the kitchen. The blade Levi had given her had never been touched, she'd been very timid with the item and hid it in a kitchen drawer beneath the scraps of cloths she used to dry the dishes- but she never forgot about it.

Her fingers clawed at the handle of the drawer and a scream jumped from her mouth in shock and terror as a sudden weight crashed into her back. She was forced against the counter in a painful pin as James got a firm grip on her. He fisted one hand into her hair while his other arm clamped around her waist and he easily pulled her away from the counter and threw her down, even bringing the whole drawer with her.

She landed heavily and the drawer arched through the room, scattering the cloth before crashing down it's self while the blade bounced off in a different direction and she looked to it in a desperate need.

Her frightful gaze came back to James and her arms reached out as if it would stop him as he threw himself down on her. She screamed and grappled with him and it wasn't until she managed to get a foot under her and kick, that she managed to free herself enough to slip back from him.

Eloise went straight for the knife, her eyes locked onto the glint of the blade where the flames of the fireplace where dancing off of it. She scrambled back onto her feet but James was quick too. He threw himself onto her again and the pair knocked the chair into the fire place as they both fell back to the floor.

In a last desperate attempt she stretched a hand out to try and catch hold of the blade's handle but James stunted her efforts. He pulled her back and her nails clung to the floor boards before he roughly took her by one shoulder and force her to turn onto her back.

"Get off me!" She screeched in fear as she threw her hands out once again, fighting against his groping. "Please, don't!" She begged as the tare of her shirt interrupted the growing roar of the fire.

James lowered his body on her, pinning her torso down with his own so he could free up his hands to feel more and he didn't care that his weight was suffocating to her.

He fixed a deathly tight grip on her right wrist and the feel of her struggling resistance against him was exciting. Her left hand slammed up into his shoulder as she tried to push him off, needing to free some weight from her chest so she could breath properly but she had to abandon that attempt when she felt him tugging up her layering of skirts. "No!" She sobbed, clinging to his arm to try and still it.

Tears streamed down her face and she wriggled her body as much as she could to try and buck him off. Her feet thudded as she dug her heels into the floor and tried to push her body out from under his but she only succeed in causing the pair of them to creep along the floor a few inches. "Stop it!" She wailed, turning her head to the left to swerve his lips as he brought his face close to hers.

He took advantage of the skin she exposed to him, smothering her neck with desperate lips and a hungered tongue, eliciting a shriek of dread and disgust from her.

She couldn't look at him and squeezed her eyes closed, hoping for it all to go away, but of course it didn't. She tried to turn from him more and dared to peek her eyes open in search of help.

The blade glistened at her, the light that caught it's sharp edge winked at her, it was daring and suggestive like it was calling to her- reach for me, use me- it tempted.

She flung an arm out, her fingers stretching and heels once again digging into the floor to help give her another push towards it. "Get off!" She screamed, fear and panic still in her tone. Her fingers found the handle and she gripped it, "Get off!" She warned. The knife felt awkward to hold in her left hand as she brought in towards the man with a shout. "Get off!" She demanded, power and anger finding her and he finally lifted his head.

The blade's edge was perfectly smooth and sharp making the attack effortless and both were shocked and confused as they locked eyes.

A spray of red decorated Eloise's face while slow realisation came to his. His restraint on her finally released as he lifted a hand to fumble at the side of his neck. Panic was quick to grow on his face as he choked and sputtered, pulling away from her and worsening the injury as he fell from the blade and allowed the open wound to begin gushing.

Eloise lay shaking and horrified as she stared at the knife, her eyes watching as the blood ran down the blade and over her fingers before she finally turned to James.

He was still. A hand desperately clutching at his neck while a growing pool of blood seeped out of him.

What have I done?

She sat up and shuffled away from him, her shaking grew worse as did her tears. Her chest screamed in need for air but her breath caught in her throat.

What do I do?

She was lost and no one would care what her story was, all that would matter was that she'd just killed a well loved man.

The spreading fire gave an angry pop as it made a claim on the floor boards and Eloise looked to it in horror. In their struggle they had knocked the chair into the fire and caused it's freedom to grow.

What do I do? She panicked more.-

* * *

Elle gave a shaky breath as she looked away from the fire place, but she wouldn't look at Levi. Her chest felt painful and she didn't want to speak for fear of the emotions that would slip out.

She gripped tightly at the cup to hide the quivering of her hands. She'd gone over the memory many times in the past, she'd reasoned with herself over it and she'd done her best to justify it. Some times she had wished things had happened differently, and other times she had no regrets. Yet she still felt guilty and wanted someone to know. She needed someone to tell her what she should have done, she needed some form of confirmation on whether her actions had been right or not.

Levi stepped forwards and placed a hand over hers, helping to still her shakes and preventing her from spilling the water.

She frowned at the action. No. She couldn't confess.

The guilt she could handle over the other possible outcomes of confessing to the murder. "Goodnight." She whispered as she stood, pulling her hand away and making a move back towards the door.

Levi let his hold on her go but only in exchange of gripping her by the upper arm and pausing her, "Eloise." He started in asking for her attention.

Elle gave a half turn, looking at his hand first before she allowed her eyes to meet his, "You were right about James." She stated.

It wasn't a confession but it _was_ an answer- to Levi at least. His hand slipped from her arm and he watched her leave. He had received no details of what had happened and yet he understood.


End file.
